My Way
by LilBenson2004
Summary: A story about Olivia getting her goddaughter after her mother is killed. Lots on secrets come out after 12 years of not seeing each other. I'm not very good at summaries. Some dark themed material so probably not suitable for all viewers. Some A/O!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I know this type of story has been done before but I wanted to take a spin at it and see what ya'll thought. I don't own any of the law and order:SVU characters. I only own Garrett and a few others. Thanks LilBenson2004**

**My Way**

Garrett's POV

The school bell rang and everyone in the room left. I loaded my things into my bag and walked out of the room. I headed out of the school and walked through the row of buses. I stepped onto the sidewalk and took a deep breath. The smell of hot pavement and trash filled my nose. I stuck my earphones in my ears and hit play on my IPod. I began winding my way through the streets of Los Angeles until I reached the apartment complex my mom and I lived in. I stood outside the front door and took another deep breath. I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. There was a knot, it had been there since around lunch time and at first I thought it was because of my science test but that seemed to have gone well.

I went inside the building. The smell of mildew filled my nose. I was hit with a heat wave. I went over to the elevator and hit the up button. When the doors opened I stepped inside and hit 13. My mom, Miranda and I lived on 16 but the elevator only went to 13 and then I had to climb the three flights of stairs to 16. I got to the top step and pushed open the door. I pulled my key out of my pocket as I walked down the hall towards the apartment. As I neared the door I noticed it was partially open. I pulled my headphones out and set my book bag down by the door. I pushed the door open the rest of the way but didn't go inside. I looked around the room once before stepping inside. I slowly made my way around the room before pushing open all the doors. I checked in all the rooms and stopped when I came to my mom's room. The door was wide open. My mom was lying on her bed. I stood in the doorway. Blood was everywhere. I felt my stomach start to rise up into my throat. I took a deep breath and backed out of the doorway. I knew she was dead. There was too much blood around for her not to be dead.

I couldn't stay here. I had to get out, get away. I went into my room and pulled out the bottom drawer of my dresser. I grabbed my lock box and tossed it on my bed. I pulled the key off my necklace and opened it. I had exactly four hundred dollars in there. I stuck the money in my pocket and then put the lock box back. I grabbed a few essential clothing items. I went into my closet and grabbed my baby box and my keepsake box. I grabbed my blanky and my favorite stuffed animal and threw it all in my duffle bag. I went into the living room and grabbed a few photos that I'd want. I shoved everything into the bag and slung it over my shoulder. I pulled the books out of my book bag and went back to my room.

I grabbed some more pictures and my favorite books and CDs. I was about to stick the last picture in my bag but I held it in my hand. It was of my god mother, Olivia and me. I was 4; it was taken at my 4th birthday party. The week before we left to come to California. Now I had to get back to her. Back to where things were okay. Olivia was holding me in the picture and kissing my cheek. I was giggling because she was tickling me at the same time. I sighed and shoved the picture in my book bag.

I left the apartment and headed downstairs. I stopped on the 14th floor and knocked on one of the doors. Mrs. McGuire opened the door and smiled at me.

"Hey Garrett! To what do I owe this pleasure?" I looked down at my feet and took a deep breath. How was I supposed to tell the neighbor that my mom was dead upstairs and that I was running away to New York.

"Uhm, I need a favor… Before I tell you what I need, I need you to promise me that you won't freak out. Can you promise me that?" Mrs. McGuire nodded her head. I took another deep breath and ran my hand through my hair.

"What's wrong, Garrett?" Mrs. McGuire touched my shoulder and I stepped back.

"Someone shot and killed mom. She's upstairs in her room. I need you to call the police and report it. Tell them you found her. I didn't kill her, just so you know. I have to leave before they get here…" I turned to leave and Mrs. McGuire grabbed my shoulder.

"Wait! Where are you going? Who did this?" I looked back at her and swallowed.

"Home." I turned and left. I ran down the rest of the stairs and out the alley door. I knew the cops would arrive soon and wanted to be long gone before they even realized she had a daughter.

I walked the few blocks to the grey hound station. I knew flying would be quicker but I was terrified of the thought of flying and I wasn't sure I'd have enough money. I walked into the station and up to the window. I pulled my fake ID out of my wallet. It said I was 18.

"Can I help you?" A lady behind the counter asked.

"Yea, I, uh, need a ticket to New York. It doesn't matter how many stops but I need on the first one out." The lady typed the information in and then looked up at me.

"One leaves in 20 minutes. It's gonna be a four day trip. We have a shorter trip leaving in two hours." I shook my head. I had to get out of here sooner than that.

"I'll take it. How much does cost?" She looked at the computer screen again and then back at me.

"The ticket is $395." I handed her the money and stuck the change in my back pocket. I put my ID back and then put my bag on a scale. They had to weigh it to make sure it was less than 50 pounds. My bag was labeled and then set with a group of bags that I assumed were headed to the same place. I sat down in a chair and watched as busses pulled in and out.

I wondered if the cops had reached the apartment yet. I knew running made me look bad but if I stayed I didn't know what was lined up for me. At least in New York I hoped I'd be safe. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Everything was going to be okay I told myself. Everything had to be.

The bus arrived and I climbed on. I found a seat close to the front. I set my bag in front of me. The bus took off about 20 minutes after everyone had boarded. Once we pulled out of the station, I sighed. I was on my way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Don't own Law and Order: SVU.**

4 Days Later

I stepped off the bus and pushed my sun glasses up on my head. I looked around and felt some relief. I was home. I'd spent the first 4 years of my life in New York. Those were the happiest years of my life. I looked around and grabbed my bag as it was being unloaded off the bus. I walked out of the station and looked around. Everything looked foreign to me. I had no idea where I was. I put my bag over my shoulder and began walking down the street. I looked at street signs hoping one stuck out to me.

Nothing looked familiar. I was beginning to lose the feeling of hope I had once I got off the bus. Yes, I was in New York but I had no idea where I was or if I was going to be able to find Olivia. I didn't know if she even lived in or worked in New York anymore. When we left she had just gotten her badge to become a detective. I hadn't spoken to her since we left when I was 4. I didn't know where she worked or what she was up to know but I needed to find her. I felt that my life was depending on me finding her.

I had been walking around for awhile so I stopped and sat down on a bench. I was overly tired. After having not slept in almost two days and not having eaten in two plus days. Everything was beginning to feel overwhelming. It was sunset and the New York streets were getting colder. Clouds were accumulating overhead. It looked like rain. I dug through my bag and pulled out my California hoodie. I slipped it on and then pulled my knees up to my chest. I had to find Olivia soon.

I eventually got up and threw my bag over my shoulder before walking again. I walked until I passed a diner. I didn't have any money but it had begun raining and I needed to sit down. I walked in and sat down at the counter a waitress came over and handed me a menu. She smiled at me and then went back to serving another customer. I just stared at the menu. Everything sounded good but I had no money. I'd spent my last five on sun glasses.

"Can I help you?" I looked up at the waitress.

"Yea, do you have a phone book?" I knew it was a long shot but maybe Olivia was listed. The waitress nodded and left. I felt bad that I was taking her time away from her other customers; paying customers. The waitress came back and handed me the phone book. I smiled at her and the flipped through the pages. I flipped to the B's and scanned the names. When I reached the last name I slammed the book closed.

"Shit." The waitress and a few other customers looked up at me. I just looked down at the counter.

"Is everything okay, Miss?" The waitress tapped my shoulder and I jumped.

"Yea, can you tell me where the nearest police station is?" The waitress nodded and jotted down the directions. She handed them to me and smiled. Her hand rested on top of mine.

"Good luck, darlin'!" I smiled and nodded a 'thanks'. I got up and left. I wanted to leave her a tip but I had no money left.

I stepped outside and looked at the directions in my hand. It was dark outside and the rain had picked up. I looked up and down the street before turning right. I followed the directions and found myself standing in front of the police station. I was hoping this was the right station or someone inside knew Olivia. I stood outside for a second and took a few deep breaths. I felt like I was close. I went inside and looked around. I didn't think police stations closed but this one looked deserted. I was about to leave when someone called from behind me.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" I turned around and saw a guy in street clothes walking towards me.

"Uh, I don't know. I'm looking for someone. She used to be a police officer or maybe she still is; I haven't seen her since I was little. She's probably not anymore. She's probably gotten married and has kids of her own..." The guy held up his hand to stop me from rambling on. I was staring at the floor and it felt like it was spinning. Being over tired and having no food in my system was getting to me.

"Can you give me name?" I looked up trying not to lose my balance.

"Olivia Benson, like I said she's probably not a cop anymore." The guy crossed his arms and stepped back.

"You're right, she's a detective now. Works upstairs. She just stepped out to get dinner. Should be back soon though. You can wait upstairs… My names Odafin Tutuola, but most people call me Fin."

"Garrett Phillips." Fin held out his hand and I shook it. Fin took my bag and led me to some elevators. We rode upstairs in silence. We got off on the 5th floor. We walked through a set of double doors into an open room with desks scattered around. He led me to a chair and told me sit down. I thanked him and he went into an office towards the back of the room. Another man stepped out of the office followed by Fin. They walked over to me and I stood up.

"Captain, this Garrett Phillips, she's here for Liv. Garrett, this is Captain Cragen. He should be able to help you." Fin left and went over to a desk not too far away. The Captain stared at me for a minute.

"How do you know Olivia?" The Captain asked.

"She's my Godmother. I have proof that I know her." I reached into my book bag and pulled out a picture of the two of us. He took the picture and nodded. Liv and I looked similar and it was evident in the picture. We both had brown hair and brown eyes. Her hair was lighter than mine but we had the same facial features. Cragen handed me the picture back.

"You can wait here for her. Her and her partner went to get dinner. They will be back shortly." I nodded my head and sat back down. Cragen walked away but stopped to talk to Fin. They were speaking in hushed tones and I couldn't make out what they were saying. Cragen went back into his office and Fin glanced over at me before going back to flipping through papers on his desk. I sat there and looked around the room.

Another man walked in and sat down across from Fin. They both looked over at me and I waved. Fin must have been informing him about who I was. I pulled a book out of my bag and flipped through it. I tried reading but it made my head spin. Lack of sleep and hunger were beginning to kick my butt. I put the book away and looked up when the double doors swung open and two people came walking through arguing. I recognized her instantly. She still looked the same. The Captain came out of his office and walked over to Olivia and another man. They had just sat down at their desks. He was talking to Olivia and they both looked over at me. I went to stand up but lost my balance and ended up back in the chair. Olivia and Cragen both came over and stood next to me. I stood up again but balanced myself with the chair.

"Garrett, this is…" My face lit up when I looked at her. It was her, she was my Olivia.

"Olivia!" I cut Cragen off. I went to step forward but my head was spinning.

"Garrett?" Olivia looked me over and I guess realized it was me because she pulled me into a hug. I hugged her back but then pulled away and sat down. I bent forward so my head was between my knees. My head was spinning and pounding. I felt light headed and sick to my stomach all at the same time. Olivia knelt down beside me and laid her hand on my back. I flinched and she removed it.

"Are you okay?" Cragen asked. I tried to nod my head but it was working. I could see that someone else had walked up. I saw his shoes. Olivia was still kneeling next to me and holding out a glass of water. I took the water and slowly drank it. It made the dizziness go away slightly but I still felt nauseous and my head was still pounding.

"I'm…okay." I sat up and looked at all the people around me. Liv was still kneeling next to me.

"Are you sure? Have you eaten anything lately?" Olivia asked. I shook my head. I hated to admit that I was starving because I didn't want to take anything from any of them.

"When was the last time you ate, sweetheart?" The man that had walked in with Olivia asked. I looked up at him but winced when pain shot through my head.

"Uh, I don't know. Whenever the bus stopped in New Mexico. Three days ago or something like that." Liv gasped and the man she had walked in with walked over to his desk. He grabbed a sandwich off his desk and brought it over. He handed Liv the sandwich and she took part of it out of the package and handed it to me. I stared at it and then took it knowing she wouldn't let me not take it. My answer was only partially true. It had been more like a week since I had eaten. My mom hadn't gone shopping in a few weeks and we ran out of food. I was going to go that day and get food but with everything that happened I didn't.

I ate the part of the sandwich and then Liv handed me the rest before getting up and getting me more water. I ate the rest of the sandwich and accepted the water she handed me.

"Feeling better?" Cragen asked. He and the man that Liv walked in with were still standing over me. I nodded and went to stand up. Liv grabbed my arm to make sure I was stable. I looked over at her and she looked worried.

"Yea, thanks for the sandwich. I hope that wasn't your dinner." I looked over at his desk and it was empty. Liv's had a sandwich and chips sitting on it. I began to feel bad for eating his dinner.

"No, I ate my sandwich on the way back. That was an extra." I couldn't tell if he was lying or not but I was just glad to have food so I chose that he wasn't.

"Garrett, what are you doing here?" I looked over at Liv. It hadn't occurred to me that she might not want me there. It was occurring to me know and I was beginning to panic.

"I came to see you. Are you mad?" I pulled my arm away from her and stepped so the chair was between us.

"No, I'm not mad. I'm thrilled to see you. It's been way too long! I'm just surprised. Is your mom here with you?" I looked down at the floor and shook my head. I was trying not to think about my mom. It was going to make that sandwich come up.

"Is your mom okay?" I shook my head again and dropped it lower. I felt my knees going out from under me but couldn't stop myself from falling. I felt an arm go around my waist and noticed that it was the man that walked in with Liv. He helped me sit down in the chair and Liv knelt down by my side again. I wiped my eyes expecting tears to be falling but none were.

"Mom's dead." I croaked out. My body shook as I fought off a sob. Liv pulled me into her arms and I just let her hold me. I didn't cry; it wasn't that I didn't want to cry. I just couldn't.

"I'm so sorry, Squirrel. What happened?" I sat up and looked at Olivia. No one had called me 'squirrel' in years. She looked back at me and had tears in her eyes.

I looked down at the floor and shrugged my shoulders. I didn't know what happened. I just knew she was shot in the apartment. I had no idea who had done it. Probably an ex boyfriend or something I didn't know.

"I don't know. She was shot in our apartment, Friday." Liv gasped. She stood up and began to walk away. I reached for her but missed her arm. Liv went and sat down at her desk. The guy that walked in with her went over and leaned on the edge of her desk. He stood there for a few minutes and then came back over to me.

"Garrett, I'm Elliot Stabler, Olivia's partner. Did you report your mom being shot to the police?" I looked up at him and nodded my head.

"A neighbor from downstairs called the police. I… I left and caught the first grey hound headed this way. I didn't speak with the police myself… I didn't do it!" I looked over at Liv and she was typing on her computer.

"I know. I just wanted to see if it was reported. Come on, why don't I take you upstairs so you can rest?" I looked at him and then glanced at Liv.

"Is there any place I can shower? It's been four days and it'll help me sleep." Elliot nodded his head and grabbed my bag off the floor. He led me over to his and Liv's desks.

"I'm going to take her to the locker rooms. She wants to grab a shower. I'm going to let her get some sleep in the cribs." Liv nodded her head. She didn't look at us but then grabbed my arm. She stood up and pulled me into a hug.

"I am really glad you're here… there is shampoo and stuff in my locker. El knows how to get in." I nodded my head into her shoulder. Elliot led me upstairs and to the cribs. He set my bag down on a bed. I grabbed some clothes out before he showed me the locker rooms. He let me into Liv's locker and I grabbed her shampoo and body wash. Elliot left and I went to the shower.

I showered quickly but stood and left the water run over my body. I got out and dried off with a towel Elliot had left for me. I put on the clothes I had brought and ran my fingers through my hair before pulling it up into a pony tail with a pony tail holder I had stolen from Liv's locker. I put her stuff back and then took my dirty clothes back to the cribs. I shoved my clothes into a plastic bag El had given me and set them next to my bag. I laid down on the bed and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: Sorry chapter is short. Wanted to give Liv's perspective on Garrett showing up! Don't own Law and Order: SVU.**

Liv's POV

I sat at my desk and stared at my computer. Garrett was here, asleep in the cribs. I had dreamed about her coming back to me; about being with me. She was only my God daughter but when she lived here with her mom I spent almost every day with her.

I was still in shock that Miranda had been murdered. Garrett didn't seem overly upset about it but I had no idea what had gone on the last 12 years. Maybe she was really good at holding in her emotion. I knew all too well that eventually it would all come pouring out. I looked up when Elliot came walking back. He sat down at his desk and stared at me.

"What?" I asked. He glanced up at the cribs and then back at me.

"You mind explaining to me who Garrett is?" I shrugged my shoulders and handed him half my sandwich.

"She's my Goddaughter. Her and her mom moved to California when she was 4. I haven't seen or heard from them since they moved." Elliot took the sandwich and ate it. He'd given his to Garrett when she'd said she hadn't eaten in three days.

"What are you going to do with her?" I looked up at Elliot shocked.

"What do you mean? I'm going to let her stay with me. If her mother is dead; I'm the closest thing she has to family." Elliot nodded his head. He looked like he had reservations about it but didn't say anything. He began working on paperwork for our latest case. I glanced up at the cribs and then decided I should do paperwork too.

I worked on paperwork for about an hour before getting up and going to the cribs. I wanted to check on Garrett; I assumed she was sleeping because it had been quiet up there but didn't know. I slowly pushed the door open and she was laying on a bunk curled up into a ball. She had kicked the blankets off. I walked over and covered her back up before sitting on the floor next to her and brushing some hair out of her face. She still looked like a little kid when she slept. She had a torn up monkey in her arms. I smiled as I remembered giving her the monkey when she was two. She had named him 'Wivia'. I had missed Garrett so much these last 12 years. I had wanted to find her to see if she was okay but always seemed to be too busy.

I watched her sleep for awhile before going back downstairs. I sat down at my desk and Elliot was just finishing up paperwork. It was around 1 am and Fin and Munch had left. Cragen's light was still on. I stared at the paperwork in front of me. I had no desire to do it but needed to get my DD5's done. I worked on my DD5's until they were done. Cragen was coming out of his office as I put them in the done pile. Elliot was up getting coffee.

"Elliot, Olivia, what are you still doing here? Go home! Liv take tomorrow off to get Garrett settled in." Cragen went back into his office and I looked at El. He shrugged and walked over to put his jacket on.

"You want help carrying Garrett's things out. Or you need a lift home?" I shook my head.

"No, I think I'm just gonna crash here tonight. I don't want to wake Garrett up for no reason. I'll take her to my place in the morning." Elliot nodded. He left and I stretched before going up to the cribs. I walked in and propped the door open so I'd have a little light. I looked over and Garrett was still asleep. Her covers were on the floor again and so was 'Wivia'. I picked up both and placed the monkey next to her before covering her up. I ran my hand through her hair before lying down in the bed next to hers and going to sleep.

I woke up the next morning and looked over to see Garrett sitting on the bed. She was staring at the wall across from us. I sat up and yawned.

"Morning Garrett! How'd you sleep?" Garrett didn't look over at me she just kept staring at the wall. I walked in front of her to get her attention. She jumped and pulled her headphones out.

"Hey Liv! What's shakin'?" I shook my head and sat down next to her.

"Not much. You ready to go to my place. I didn't want to wake you last night so we stayed here." She nodded her head and followed me. I grabbed one of her bags and she grabbed her book bag. We left the cribs and walked down to the squad room. No one was there yet. We left and headed to my car.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Don't own Law and Order: SVU.**

Garrett's POV

We got in the car and the ride to Liv's apartment was silent. I grabbed my stuff off the back seat and we headed up to her apartment. I vaguely remembered the apartment. Liv had lived with us until for three years. When I turned three she moved into her own place. I couldn't believe she still lived in the same apartment. We took the elevator up to her floor and walked down to her apartment. She unlocked the door and walked in.

"So it's your basic one bedroom. We'll have to figure out something more permanent once we get everything worked out." I nodded my head and set my bag by the door. I was nervous because she said, 'once we get everything worked out'. Did that mean she wasn't going to let me stay? I pushed the panic I was feeling down and looked around.

"Sounds good." Liv had walked into the kitchenette and was going through the fridge.

"You can take the bed and I'll stay on the couch. There isn't any food here. Do you want to go out for breakfast?" I shrugged my shoulder as I sat down on the couch.

"I can take the couch. I mean I'm the one who just barged in on you." Liv shook her head and came and sat down next to me.

"You are not barging in on me. I love having you here. But if you want the couch, I could be okay with that." I threw a pillow at Liv and she started laughing.

"Well good, besides I'm younger. I won't get all the aches and pains that you would." I got off the couch and walked towards the door. Liv threw a pillow at me and I caught it.

"Where are you going?" Liv said. She walked over and I tossed the pillow back on the couch.

"You said something about breakfast… I'm starving." I went to open the door and Liv grabbed my arm.

"You may want to change first. While your pajamas are cute, I don't think you want to have breakfast in them. Besides I need to shower and change too. Can your stomach wait that long?" I nodded my head and grabbed my bag. I carried it over to the couch and pulled out a pair of jeans and a long sleeve tee.

Liv showered quickly and I changed my clothes. I fixed my ponytail and sat on the couch waiting for Liv. She came out of her room dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

"Ready?" I nodded and walked to the door. Liv grabbed her keys and we left the apartment.

We headed to a diner down the street that Liv said was amazing. We were seated and then once we'd placed our orders sat in silence, until Liv spoke up.

"So how's life been the past twelve years?" I looked at her and then back into my orange juice.

"It's been… life, nothing super important. Sometimes life was good, other times not so great. How's life been for you?" I took a drink of my orange juice. I didn't want to tell Liv how life had really been. It had been awful, but she didn't need to know that, at least not yet.

"Life has been good. I love my job. It's hard at times but I really like making a difference in people's lives." I nodded my head. I was glad Liv was happy. I was afraid that maybe she's too happy and having me in her life would make things worse.

Our food arrived and we ate in a comfortable silence. Once we finished eating we left and headed back to Liv's apartment. As we were walking into the apartment building Liv's phone started ringing.

"Benson," Liv said. Liv listened to the other person for awhile and then rolled her eyes. "Can't it wait… yea, yea. We'll be right there." Liv hung up the phone and looked at me.

"What's up?" Liv ran her hand through her hair. She gave me a weak smile.

"We need to go down to the precinct. California PD is here." I stared at Olivia and took a deep breath. We got into Liv's car and headed down to the precinct. We arrived at the precinct and headed to the squad room. We walked in and Elliot met us at the door.

"Liv, we tried to hold them off but they wouldn't listen. They say they need to talk to Garrett about her mom's murder." I looked around Elliot and could see Cragen talking to two men in suits. They had come a long way just to talk to me. Liv looked at what I was looking at and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

"Come on, let's get this over with." I swallowed the lump in my throat and smiled over at her. She led me over to Cragen and the suits.

"Olivia, Garrett, this is Detective Maxwell Peters and Detective Ashley Hail. They need to speak with…" I held up my hand to stop him.

"Fine, but I go in alone." Liv looked at me and shook her head.

"No, I'm going in with her. She's a minor…" Cragen stopped Olivia.

"Who is technically a ward of the state of California. We have no legal precedence here." Olivia nodded and ran her hand through her hair. She gave me a hug before walking over to her desk.

The Detectives led me to an interrogation room. Cragen followed and stood outside the door. We were about to walk in when he grabbed my arm.

"Are you sure you want to go in alone?" I nodded my head and took a deep breath.

"Make sure Olivia doesn't come around. She's not involved in this." Cragen nodded his head and walked away. The detectives and I walked into the interrogation room and sat down.

"Like Captain Cragen said, I'm Detective Maxwell Peters and this is Detective Ashley Hail. You're Garrett Phillips?" Maxwell asked. I nodded my head and looked at the one way window. I hoped Liv wasn't standing on the other side but I couldn't be sure.

"Garrett, can you tell us your birthday?" Ashley asked.

"October 31st 1996." The Detectives nodded their heads and whispered something to each other.

"Can you tell us what happened on Friday October 15th?" Ashley asked.

"I, uhm went to school like any other day. School was boring but everybody needs to learn. When school was over I walked home. I walked into the apartment building and something felt wrong but I didn't know what. I took the elevator to the 13th floor and then walked up the last three flights. I walked to the apartment and the door was partially open. Part of me thought I shouldn't enter but I wasn't really surprised that the door was left unlocked. I went inside and checked the apartment. My mom's room was the last one I checked. I stepped into the doorway and she was lying on her bed. There was blood everywhere. I stood there for a few minutes before grabbing my stuff and leaving. I stopped at an apartment on the 14th floor and asked Mrs. McGuire to call the police. I then caught a grey hound bound for New York." Ashley nodded and wrote something on a piece of paper. She handed it to Maxwell and he read it before nodding to her.

"Garrett, you said that you weren't surprised that the door was open and unlocked. Why do you say that?" I looked at the window again.

"I can't answer that until I know no one is listening on the other side of that window." Maxwell nodded but didn't look pleased. He walked to the door and looked outside.

"No one out here; you can come look, if you want." I shook my head and he walked back in.

"My mom was a druggie. She has been since I was three. That's why we moved to California, she found out her boyfriend could score better and make more money out there… I always knew that one day I'd come home to find her. Her boyfriend's weren't always nice. Her latest one was a real bastard." I looked down at the table and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Can you give us his name?" I nodded my head.

"Gary Markum. Am I done?" Ashley nodded and stood up.

"If you have any more information, here is my card. My cell is on the back. We'll be in touch if anymore questions come up." I nodded my head and walked out of the room.

I walked into the squad room and Liv was sitting at her desk. Elliot nodded towards me and she stood up. She walked over and hugged me.

"Are you okay?" I nodded and looked back at the interrogation room.

"Yea, can we go? I'm still kind of tired." Liv wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

"Of course." Liv and I left the squad room and headed to her car. We were almost there when a blonde woman walked up. Olivia seemed to know who she was because she walked over and gave her a hug.

"Hey Sexy! What are you doing here?" The blonde asked. I raised an eyebrow in their direction. Liv caught my look and pulled the blonde over.

"Alex, I have someone I want you to meet. This is Garrett!" Liv had a huge smile on her face. I was unsure what to think.

"Nice to meet you Garrett. I'm Alex Cabot; I'm Liv's… friend." Alex held out a hand and I shook it.

"Back at ya, Garrett Phillips. I'm Liv's…"

"Goddaughter, I know she told me all about you." I looked at Liv shocked. No one in the precinct seemed to have known me so I assumed that no one knew about me. Without having seen each other in 12 years, I was surprised Liv remembered me, let alone her 'friend'.

"She's told you about me? Oh, you must have spoken last night." Alex shook her head and I again shot Liv a shocked look. She just smiled at me and walked over to wrap her arm around my shoulder.

"No, Alex is my girlfriend. I told her about you when I showed her your picture." I nodded my head. Everything was coming together. Alex called Liv 'Sexy' because they were dating. I was surprised that I didn't have a hard time believing Liv was a lesbian. I actually found the idea rather assuring. We all stood around in an awkward silence. Finally Alex said something.

"So Garrett, what brings you to New…?" Liv shook her head and Alex stopped talking. Liv was giving Alex a look that said she would explain later. I looked down at my feet. My shoes were so old they were beginning to fall apart. I kicked at the sole of one with the other and it showed the hole that had began to form. Luckily Liv finally spoke up and broke the silence.

"So, we were just headed back to the apartment. Garrett is still tired from her journey here. I will see you later though." Liv leaned into Alex and gave her a quick kiss. I covered my eyes and stifled a laugh.

"Eww!" Liv pulled away and laughed. Alex had a smile on her face and looked like she was stifling a laugh.

"Sorry, let's go." Liv pushed me towards the car and I pulled open my door. I stood in the door while Liv went around to the driver's side. Alex was just standing on the sidewalk.

"Hey Alex, can you come over for dinner? I mean if that's okay with you Liv." Liv looked at me shocked but nodded her head. Alex just looked shocked.

"Sure, I'd love to. Why don't you guys come to my place for dinner? We can do take out and a movie." I nodded my head and smiled. It sounded like a good time. I needed to get my mind off the interview with the detectives. It had been a real bummer, it also brought up memories that I would have preferred stayed lost.

Liv and I got into the car and drove to the apartment. We were both lost in our own little worlds. We pulled up the apartment and got out. We headed into the apartment and my mind kept wondering back to the detectives and the interview. Maybe I should have taken someone in with me. I wasn't ready for Liv to know that my mom was such a loser. They had been best friends for years and to come and find out that your best friend was a drug addict who dated dealers and pimps was not the image I wanted her to have.

I sat down on the couch and ran my hand through my hair. Liv sat down on the other end and just stared at me.

"You okay?" I looked over and gave her a weak smile.

"Yea, still getting used to the idea that my mom isn't gonna be around anymore… I'm gonna grab a shower before we go to Miss Cabot's." I got off the couch and walked past Olivia. She grabbed my hand and pulled me down so I was sitting on her lap.

"I am really proud of you for talking to those detectives today. I am also happy that you are here with me and no matter what happens I will always be there for you… the towels are under the sink." I nodded my head and Liv kissed my cheek. I got up and walked to the bathroom. My stomach was in knots. I was worried they would try to take me away from Liv. She was the closest thing I had to family. Well besides my step dad but they wouldn't give me to him. Or at least I hoped not.

I took a quick shower and changed into home clothes. We still had a few hours before we had to go to Miss Cabot's. It was going to be hard to find something nice enough to wear to her house. Maybe Liv had something I could borrow. Miss Cabot seemed like she was high class. It was hard to imagine Liv with someone like that but I hoped she was happy. She seemed like she was. I walked back out into the living room and Liv was sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine.

I walked over and sat down. I felt a little better after my shower but was afraid that Liv was gonna try and push me into telling her what's wrong. She smiled as I sat down. She handed me the remote control for the TV but I just shook my head. I pulled my knees up under me.

"Why did you tell Miss Cabot about me?" Liv looked up and sort of confused.

"What do you mean?" I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes. Liv knew what I was talking about.

"You told Miss Cabot about me but no one else. Why is that?" Liv looked at the floor before looking back at me.

"Alex and I were going through some old pictures and we came across the one of you and me at your fourth birthday party. She asked who the cutie in pink was and I told her that it was goddaughter Garrett." I nodded my head. My bag was sitting by the edge of the couch so I grabbed it and pulled out the picture Liv was talking about.

"This one?" Liv nodded as she took the picture. She ran her hand over it before resting it in her lap. She stared at me for a minute and I stared down at the couch. Liv looked like she wanted to say something but her phone started ringing.

"Benson," Liv said. Liv sounded annoyed that somebody was calling her but her face changed in an instant. She listened to the other person talk but I couldn't tell who it was. "They can't do that! We'll be there." Liv hung up the phone and looked over at me. I swallowed the lump in my throat. Things didn't sound good.

"What's up?" I asked. My voice cracked and I curled up into a smaller ball.

"We need to go down to the police station… The detectives found a will of your mom's. Your stepfather is named as your legal guardian. They are going to take you back to LA with them." I shook my head and slid off the couch. Liv tried to grab me but I was too quick.

"I'm not going to live with him. I'll run away again. That bastard is not father material!" Liv got off the couch and walked towards me. I backed up to the wall and slipped my gym shoes on.

"We can work this out. You're 17; you'll have some say in who you live with. Running away is not the answer." Liv grabbed my shoulder but I pulled away.

"You don't understand. No one understands. I left LA so I wouldn't have to live with him. I shouldn't have told Mrs. McGuire where I was going. She led the detectives to me. Now I'm in more trouble than you'll ever know." Liv grabbed my arm and pulled me to her. I tried to fight free but she wouldn't let go.

"What kind of trouble?" I shook my head and tried to pull away again.

"Nothing that concerns you, you're trying to send me back. You want me to go with him, don't you? I shouldn't have come here either. I should have gone to the middle of nowhere and started over." I was tired of fighting Liv. I stopped fighting but she kept a tight grip on me. I was only inches from the door. If I could get away, I'd be free.

"I want you here with me, okay? I have always wanted you with me. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. You just have to trust me… I can't protect you if you run. Now go get dressed so we can go." I nodded my head and Liv loosened her grip. Before I could move she had us switched around so she was in front of the door. I really didn't want to go but figured I should put my faith in Liv.

I walked to my bag and grabbed some clothes before heading to the bedroom. All I had left was shorts and even though it was October it was relatively warm in New York. I got dressed and walked out. The shorts were daisy dukes and a little too short for my own comfort but my mom had bought them like she did all my clothes. I tied my hoodie around my waist and walked back into the living room. Liv looked me up and down and then we left.


	5. Chapter 5

We pulled up to the 1-6 and I took a deep breath. My stepfather, Jonathon Patrick scared the crap out of me. If the detectives only knew half the stuff that he had done he'd be sitting in prison for the rest of his life. I suspected that he had killed my mom. She'd been cheating on him when she found someone who could get her better drugs for cheaper. We both got out of the car and Liv came around and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. Alex was standing on the front steps. I assumed Liv had called her after she had gotten the phone call. We all went inside and the detectives walked up with another lady next to them. Cragen was standing with them. He looked at us sadly.

"Olivia, I'm sorry. We tried to reason with them. It was her mother's wishes." Liv nodded and gave me a hug. She stepped away and Alex wrapped her arms around her. Detective Hail stepped towards me and grabbed my arm. She started leading me out of the squad room but I stopped walking.

"Before we go, can we talk? In private." Detective Hail rolled her eyes but nodded. We went back into an interrogation room. It was just her and I.

"What's up?" We both sat down but I stood back up and walked over to the door. I opened the door and looked around outside.

"I need to talk to you about my stepfather." Detective Hail nodded for me to continue. "My stepfather is a bastard." I reclosed the door after I was sure no one was around and sat back down.

"How was he a bastard?" Detective Hail didn't seem to believe me. I didn't want to but if I needed to I'd have to show her the bruises and scars.

"He used to beat me. Not to mention he's a drug dealer and pimp. You send me to live with him and lord knows what will happen to me." Detective Hail still didn't seem impressed.

"Do you have proof that he beat you?" I nodded and stood up. I pulled up my shirt and turned around so my back was to her. I had a long scar that ran the length of my back. Detective Hail stood up and walked over to where I was standing.

"He did this the week before he went to jail for possession of drugs with intent to sell…" I stared out the window. I didn't want to tell her more but an old scar wasn't going to get the jury on my side. "He also used to touch me. He'd crawl into bed with me at night and do things that I'd never even heard of. I was 14." Detective Hail was out the door before I could say anything else. I pulled my shirt down and followed her out. I walked into the squad room and everyone looked at me. Detective Hail and Detective Peters were whispering in the corner with Captain Cragen. I really didn't want anyone to know about my past but if it meant getting to stay with Olivia over going back to California then I guess a few people could know. Just as long as Olivia didn't find out.

Liv and Alex walked up to me and Liv put her arm around my shoulder. We all watched as they the detectives and Cragen seemed to be having a heated discussion. After awhile Liv turned me towards her. Alex was standing right behind her but was still watching the discussion in the corner.

"What happened in there?" I looked at Liv and then Alex before looking at the ground.

"We just talked. I told her some things that she needed to know before they took me back to LA… It's really nothing you need to worry about." I rubbed my hands on my shorts. They were all sweaty. I just wish the detectives would make a decision. I was really hoping they weren't going to want to bring charges against Jonathon. Yea, I wanted him to pay for what he had done but I didn't want to have to go through with all that.

"If it's something that can help keep you here then I need to know," Liv said. I shook my head and look at Alex. She was still watching the detectives.

"It's nothing really. Just some stuff about my stepfather. I explained that I didn't want to go live with him because we never got along." Liv nodded her head. I didn't know if she was buying my story but I hoped it would hold her over until I was ready to talk. Cragen came walking over and stood next to me.

"Uh, the detectives aren't going to take Garrett just yet. They have some decisions to make before they take her… I've set up a meeting for her to talk to Dr. Huang. It's for in the morning… Garrett, the detectives would like to speak with you again." I nodded my head and walked towards the detectives. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. Some stares were so intense it felt like they were burning holes in my back.

The detectives led me back to the interrogation room and we all sat down. I looked at both of them before taking a deep breath. This day just seemed to be getting longer.

"Garrett, we need to know that you're telling us the truth about your stepfather. That is why Captain Cragen has decided to have you speak with Dr. Huang. If Dr. Huang believes you're telling the truth we will want to bring charges against Mr. Patrick. Would you be willing to testify against him in court?" I nodded my head.

"I only have one request though. Whatever is said between us doesn't get said to Olivia. I will tell her when I'm ready for her to know. She doesn't need to deal with all this stuff." The detectives nodded.

"Okay, but we think you should talk to someone about what all went on while you lived in California. We spoke with Mrs. McGuire again. She said there was a lot of stuff that happened that wasn't right… We want to help you, Garrett. We're here to help you." I nodded and stood up.

"Am I free to go with Olivia or what's going to happen?" Detective Hail stood up and walked over to stand in front of me.

"You can go with Olivia. For right now you can stay with her." I smiled at her before leaving the interrogation room again. All I wanted to do was go back to the apartment and sleep.

I walked back out and Liv was sitting at her desk with Alex next to her. I walked up and leaned on Liv's desk. She stood up and hugged me. I knew she was worried and I wanted to tell her everything I was just scared to.

"So what's going on?" Liv asked.

"We're free to go. I have to go to that meeting tomorrow but I'm allowed to stay with you until further notice." Liv hugged me again and when she pulled back I could see tears in her eyes.

"How about we go get some dinner?" I nodded my head and looked at Alex.

"You're coming, right?" Alex looked up and smiled. I liked Alex she seemed like a cool lady. I hoped she stayed around. She seemed to make Liv happy and if Liv was happy we all were happy.

We left the precinct and headed to a local Chinese restaurant that Liv said was fantastic. We ordered our food and sat in silence. Everyone going over their own thoughts about the day. Liv kept glancing at me. Alex and Liv eventually struck up a conversation. I was glad Alex was there to distract Liv I didn't wasn't in the mood to talk. Our food came and I just pushed mine around the plate. I wasn't really hungry. I would take small bites when Liv would glance at me. The only thing I wanted to be doing was sleeping. I wanted to sleep away today.

We all finished eating and after getting some to go boxes we left the restaurant. Liv and I headed towards our car and Alex hailed a cab. I wasn't sure why she wasn't coming back to the apartment with us but Liv had said something about work. Liv and I drove home and went into the apartment. I went into the bathroom and changed back into the clothes I had on before we left. Liv went into her room and changed into more comfortable clothes. 

I was sitting on the couch listening to my IPod when Liv came out. I took my headphones out and laid my IPod on the coffee table. Liv's apartment was small with one bedroom, one bath, a kitchenette and a living/dining room. It was a nice place for one person but if I was staying with her we'd need something bigger.

"So, everything okay with the detectives?" I nodded my head.

"Yea, they want me to speak with Dr. Huang so I can voice my opinion on who I want to live with. It's no big deal. I told them I wanted to stay here with you." Liv nodded and looked at the coffee table.

"You know, you can tell me anything that you want. If something is wrong, I can maybe help." I looked at Liv and then at the coffee table.

"It's all going to be okay, I promise… Uhm, I hate to kick you out of the living room but I'm really tired." Liv looked up and nodded.

"No it's okay. I'm pretty tired myself. Let me get you a pillow and some blankets." Liv got up and went into the bedroom. She came back out with two blankets and a pillow. She laid them on the end of the couch.

"Thanks, I'll see ya in the morning." Liv nodded and headed towards her room.

"Yea, see ya." I lay down on the couch and grabbed 'Wivia' off the floor. I curled up and pulled a blanket over top of me. I lay there and stare at the wall. Everything was spinning in my head. Things were beginning to set in. Memories coming back that I hadn't thought about in forever. I didn't know if I'd be able to handle having to relive all the memories of the past.


	6. Chapter 6

Meeting with Huang

Liv and I got up the next morning and had breakfast. We both showered and got dressed. My meeting with Dr. Huang was at 10 so we left for the precinct soon after getting ready. Liv had to work and since I had the promise of Liv knowing about none of it I wasn't worried about her finding out. If she did find out I'd be gone. I didn't care if Jonathan walked or not just as long as he never came near me again. We walked into the precinct and sat at Liv's desk until Cragen walked up.

"Dr. Huang is ready to see you Garrett." I nodded and stood up, Liv stood up also.

"Where are you going?" Liv looked at me and then pointed towards the interrogation room that Huang was in.

"You are a minor. You have the right to a legal guardian in there." I nodded my head and crossed my arms.

"I do have the right to a legal guardian. But it's my right and I'm waiving it." Liv stared at me shocked as I walked passed her into the interrogation room. I was getting tired of being in this place. I was beginning to regret my decision to come back here at all. Dr. Huang stood up and Cragen and I walked in.

"Garrett, I'm George Huang. I'm going to be interviewing you about what you told the detectives yesterday. The detectives just want to see if you were telling the truth or not." I nodded my head. I knew why we were here. I'd been through it before but this time the truth would come out. The other times I lied because I didn't want to be taken from my mom. Now I had to fight to stay with Olivia.

"I understand. We're here so you can decide whether or not Jonathan is a bad man… I was just wondering if my promise is gonna stand. No one is to tell Olivia about what is going on. I'm only willing to help if she's kept in the dark until I'm ready to tell her." Dr. Huang nodded his head. He sat down across from me. Captain Cragen began to leave the room.

"We will keep as much a secret as we can. Everything discussed with me will be kept private but once the detectives do an official interview, Olivia will either have to be present or someone who can represent you." I nodded my head. Cragen left the room and Huang and I just stared at each other.

"Do I get to pick who can represent me or will they be court appointed? I really don't want Olivia in here. I'm not ready for her to find out about all this." Dr. Huang watched me for a minute before excusing himself. I sat in the room and looked around. It was the same room I had been in the past three times and each time I hated it more and more.

Dr. Huang came back with Alex following him. He sat down and Alex sat down next to me. I looked at both of them before saying anything. Dr. Huang spoke up before I could form the words to say anything.

"Liv wants you to have someone in here with you. Since you won't allow Liv to be in here we thought maybe you would like Alex to be here." I looked at Alex and then turned so I was facing her.

"I don't mind you being in here. But you breathe a word of what I'm about to say to Olivia and I'm gone. I'll be out of here quicker than you can imagine." Alex nodded her head and we both turned to Dr. Huang.

"Okay. Let's begin. Can you tell me your full name?" Alex looked over at me and Dr. Huang was staring at me.

"Garrett Olivia Phillips." Alex looked like she wanted to laugh. I glared at her and looked back at Dr. Huang.

"When is your birthday?" I tapped my hands on the table but kept staring at Dr. Huang.

"October 31, 1993." Dr. Huang nodded again. Alex looked at me intrigued. She must not have known that my birthday was two weeks away.

"Okay, what city were you born in?" I had to resist rolling my eyes. This was ridiculous.

"Albany, New York." I rubbed my face and leaned forward so I was resting my head on my elbows.

"So, can you tell me what happened with your stepfather?" I looked at Alex and sighed.

"He… he used to abuse me. He would crawl into bed with me at night. I was 14 when it started with him. It was two weeks after my mom and him got married… He would then beat me in the morning if my mom caught him in my bed. It was a way to show my mom that they… I mean he cared about her and not about me. A month after he'd been there he realized that I could walk the streets… He decided that I could bring in extra money for the house. It only lasted two months… Eventually he was arrested for possession of drugs with intent to sell. He also left this on my back." I stood up and turned around. I pulled up my shirt to reveal the scar on my back. It was his way of making me his.

"How did he do that?" Dr. Huang asked. I turned around and sat back down. I glanced at Alex and she had tears in her eyes.

"They tied me down and shot me up with some heroine. When I passed out he made the cut… He then had a friend of his stitch it up… My mom called me in sick to school for the next week… I was kept high and then three days before I went back to school I was weaned off the drugs… That's about it." I leaned back in the chair and crossed my arms. All I wanted to do was curl up and die.

"Okay, I wanna go back to what you told us before about when he started abusing you. You said that it started when you were 14 but then you added a 'with him' at the end. What did you mean?" I bit my top lip and looked around the room. I'd opened up a can of worms now.

"That was a mistake. It was just him. He is the only one that's really sick." I looked at Alex she didn't look like she didn't believe me. Dr. Huang didn't look convinced either. 

"Okay, thank you Garrett. That's all I need to hear. I'll give the detectives my conclusions. As far as I'm concerned though you were telling the truth." I nodded my head and Dr. Huang left. Alex went to stand up and leave but I grabbed her hand.

"Alex, I meant what I said earlier. I don't want Liv knowing about this… Also you tell anyone what my middle name is and I'll kill ya." Alex nodded and we both walked out. We walked over to Liv's desk and I hopped up so I was sitting on it. Alex sat down in the chair next to it. Liv looked up at us and then finished writing the sentence she was working on. She lined up all the papers and stuck them in the done pile.

"So, how'd everything go?" Alex and I both nodded our heads.

"Fine, everything went just fine. Dr. Huang is sharing his results with the detectives. I'm hungry, what we doing for lunch?" Liv looked at me and then Alex. Alex just looked away. I glared at Alex and then smiled as Liv looked at me again.

"So did you talk about anything interesting?" I shook my head.

"Normal stuff; full name, birthday, where I was born; nothing to worry about. Asked who I wanted to live with and of course I said you." I shrugged my shoulders and then looked at Alex again. She was almost begging me with her eyes to tell Liv the truth. I just couldn't do it though.

"Oh, do you still hate your middle name?" I looked at the floor. It had been a sore subject with Olivia when I was little. She, of course, didn't understand why I didn't like my middle name. It wasn't so much that I didn't like my middle name is was that it was a hard name to live up to. I just thanked god if wasn't my first name. I knew I'd never be able to fill those shoes.

"I don't hate it. I just… it's not a normal name." Liv half glared at me. Alex was trying not to burst out laughing. I could see it in her eyes. She eventually had to walk away.

"It's fine. Where would you like to eat?" I shrugged my shoulders. Now I felt really bad. I didn't want to hurt Liv's feelings.

"Where ever you want." Liv nodded and stood up.

"Stay put I'm gonna go find Alex." I nodded and moved from her desk to her chair. I rubbed my face and looked over at Elliot who was sitting at his desk. He had a smirk on his face.

"What?" Elliot shook his head and looked back at his computer.

"So, what is your middle name?" I glared at Elliot and shook my head.

"Shut up." Liv and Alex came back and both looked angry. I leaned back in the chair and stared up at the ceiling.

"Come on, we need to talk." I stood up and followed Liv and Alex up to the cribs. I sat down on one of the beds Alex sat down next to me. Liv just stood and paced in front of us.

"What's up?" Liv looked at me with her arms crossed. She was being very defensive.

"I was just wondering why no one will tell me what's going on. Alex said she promised she wouldn't say anything and I don't know if you're telling me the truth because you won't look me in the eye when you say things… All I want to do is help you Garrett but you're making that extremely hard!" I looked up at Liv and then over at Alex. She had kept my promise. Part of me knew she probably would but part of me thought she wouldn't to help me.

"I'm telling the truth! This is all about who I get to live with. That's all the detectives want to know. I know you want to help but right now the only help I need is to be able to handle this on my own. This is about my past and I want to leave it in the past." Liv stared at the ground before looking up at Alex and me.

"I can't handle this… Garrett, I need you to trust me and I need to be able to trust you. With your lying I can't do that… If you can't manage to tell me the truth about this than you should go live with your stepfather." Alex and I both gasped. We looked at Liv and she had sat down on a bed, her face was buried in her hands.

"Liv, what does that mean?" Alex moved from the bed we were sitting on to the one Liv was sitting on. Liv jumped up and walked to the door.

"It means, I can't let her live with me when she doesn't trust me enough to tell me anything… Since she seems to trust you and is okay with you knowing what's going on. Why don't you keep her until they take her!" Liv left the cribs. Alex sat back down on the bed. I looked up at her and then rested my chin on my knees. I wanted to die. Liv didn't want me anymore. Alex moved to sit next to me. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder but I pulled away.

"I shouldn't have come here… I've ruined everything. Liv doesn't want me anymore!" Alex sighed and stood up.

"Maybe you should just tell her… Everything." I shook my head.

"Then she won't want me at all." Alex rubbed my back. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

"Come on, let's go to my place." I nodded my head. We headed out of the cribs and into the squad room. Liv wasn't at her desk. Neither was Elliot. We left the precinct and rode in silence to Alex's house.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Okay readers, I'm taking an opinion poll. The poll is should Garrett tell Liv everything that's going on or should she keep it a secret? Second, will Liv accept Garrett after she tells her or will it be too hard for Liv. Let me know by reviewing. Next chapter will be up when I hear your opinions... I don't own any Law and Order: SVU characters. Only the characters I made up. **

Talking with Alex

We got to Alex's apartment and went inside. Alex's apartment was totally different than Liv's. It had a spacious living room and full kitchen.

Alex gave me a full tour of the house. It had three bedrooms and two baths. A full kitchen with a living room and study. I walked around in awe.

"This place is huge." Alex smiled and we both sat down on the couch.

"So, are you hungry, thirsty, tired?" I shook my head and pulled my knee up.

"I'm okay. So how long you think Liv is gonna be mad." Alex looked down at the couch and shook her head.

"I don't know. Liv is stubborn. I hate to say it but I think maybe you should tell her what's going on." I stared down at the couch.

"What if she doesn't want me after I tell her?" Alex shrugged and I sighed. I didn't know what to do.

"We won't know unless you try. I will be there to help you out if you want." I shrugged and looked up at Alex. She looked as lost as I did.

"I don't think I can tell her. I'm afraid that if I tell her she will turn me away. A lot has happened in the past. A lot that I don't know if I want to relive." Alex nodded her head.

"Would you like to practice and tell me? Maybe it will help." I shook my head. I didn't want to talk about it.

"No, I would really like to grab a shower and just get some sleep. Is that okay?" Alex nodded.

"Yea let me get you some pajamas to borrow." I nodded and followed Alex upstairs. She gave me a towel and then disappeared into what I assumed was her room. She came back out and handed me the clothes.

"Thanks." Alex nodded and I headed to the bathroom. I got undressed and stepped into the shower. I let the hot water run over me for a few minutes before it hit. Everything from the past week came flying back and I lost it. I sank down and sat on the shower floor and cried. After what seemed like forever I stood back up and quickly showered.

I put on the pajamas Alex had given me and I left the bathroom. I went into the room Alex told me to stay in. I sat down on the bed and pulled my knees up to my chest. I needed to talk to someone about everything. My chest felt like I had an elephant sitting on me. I began taking long deep breaths. I'd had this feeling before and last time I ended up passing out because I couldn't breathe. Once I felt calm again I got off the bed. I could hear the TV on downstairs so I left the room and headed to the living room. I walked down the stairs and then stopped at the bottom. My stomach was in knots.

Alex looked up from the couch and smiled at me. I walked over and sat in the chair that was catty corner to the couch. Alex turned the TV on mute and looked over at me.

"I thought you were sleeping." I shrugged my shoulders and stared at the TV.

"I couldn't sleep… So I was wondering if your offer still stands?" Alex looked at me confused. I bit my bottom lip and tried to concentrate on the TV.

"What offer?" I looked at Alex and sighed.

"The offer to talk about my past… Now that I'm thinking about it… I can't get it off my mind. If you don't wanna talk, we don't have to." Alex sat up and turned the TV off.

"No, I'm here to help you and if talking will help then… let's talk." I sighed and took a deep breath. This was going to take awhile.

"Well first off, my mom wasn't always the person she was today. When I was really small she was great. But then I turned 4 and everything began to go downhill. My mom was a druggie. We moved to California because she thought she could get better deals on drugs and also because she wanted to get away from Olivia so Liv wouldn't try to take me from her… We were there about two years and things had been okay. My mom cared for me when she was sobered up but when she was on drugs the neighbor downstairs would take care of me. But when I turned six things really began to go downhill… I don't know if I can do this." Alex leaned forward and took my hand. I could tell she was trying really hard to be strong.

"Sure you can. No one or nothing is going to hurt you here. Just let it all out… Maybe you'll feel better." I nodded my head and took a raggedy breath.

"My mom dated many guys throughout my life. Most of them were drug dealers; she'd date them because she could get a better score or more for free. The guys were normally abusive but wouldn't touch me for fear of my mom leaving them… She was pretty and guys liked having her as arm candy. She would forget about me when her men were around. As I grew older though her boyfriends began paying more and more attention to me; at first it would be small things like watching TV with me or helping me with my homework. The guys weren't smart by any means but they could do the basics… My mom became very jealous that her friends would want to hang out with me. I didn't really think much about it because I was looking for someone to like me… I needed someone to fill the void left once Liv wasn't around anymore… Nothing bad happened until I was 10… When I was 10 my mom's current boyfriend came into my room one night and crawled into my bed… He, uh, did things that made my uncomfortable… I told my mom about it the next day but she just beat me and told me to stop lying." I looked at Alex and she was fighting back tears.

"Then what?" I shook my head and buried it in the chair. I sat like that for awhile and then told Alex everything else. She came over and sat on the chair with me wrapping her arms around my shoulder. I hugged her and cried. It felt good to be able to cry again. I hadn't really cried about my mom dying and I still wasn't. When I finally calmed down I pulled away. Alex had been crying too.

"I'm sorry. I know it's hard to hear but that's my past." Alex nodded her head and wiped a tear off my face.

"I'm glad you told me… Now the question is do you think you can tell Liv?" I shook my head and reburied it in the chair.

"She's not going to want me anymore… She'll think I'm broken or she'll treat me like a victim… I want my past in the past. I want to start over." Alex nodded her head.

"I know, but Liv needs to know… Talk to her about all this and come to an understanding. She can be stubborn but she's reasonable too… Trust me things will be fine." I did trust Alex so I nodded my head. The question was did I think I could tell Liv. I knew if I didn't tell Liv then I'd be sent away. What if Liv sent me away because I did tell her?


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Here it is the chapter you've all been waiting for. I didn't get quite as many responses as I wanted but it's all cool. Hope you like it! I don't own any characters but my own or Law and Order: SVU.**

Talking to Liv

Alex let me stay the night and then took me to the station the next morning. I had agreed to talk to Liv but Alex gave me the option of staying with her longer if I wasn't comfortable being around Liv. Alex and I thought it was best if I wait until we got home that night to discuss it.

When we walked into the station everyone was standing around talking about a case. Alex tried to usher me upstairs to the cribs as quickly as possible. Being the ADA for special victims meant she'd have to go back down and find out what was going on. I glanced at the board before being pulled into the cribs and left there. I sat down on one of the beds and dropped the bag Alex had let me borrow with my dirty clothes in them. Alex had lent me a pair of Liv's jeans and a t-shirt. The whole outfit was way too big and I had to wear a belt to keep the jeans from ending up around my ankles.

I sat in the cribs for awhile before wondering down to the bathrooms. I did my business and then was walking out as Liv was walking in. I stared down at the ground but she stopped me from walking.

"Hey," Liv said. I looked up to see her with tears in her eyes.

"Hey, how's the case? Got any leads." Liv shook her head. She rubbed her hands on the front of her jeans. I tucked my hands into my back pockets.

"No, so how was Alex's? She said you guys talked." I nodded my head and stared down at my crappy shoes.

"Yea, we did… Look Liv I know you wanna know everything and I will tell you, I promise. I just need some time to sort it out in my head." Liv nodded her head and then hugged me.

"I know; I'm sorry for what I said… I want you with me." I nodded my head and hugged her back. Liv kissed the top of my head and I headed back to the cribs. I knew Liv said she wanted me now but what about after we talked. Would she want me then?

I pushed the thoughts out of my head and laid down on one of the beds. The beds in the cribs were not the most comfortable beds in the world but I was able to stretch out on one enough to where I could fall asleep. I fell asleep and was woken up later by someone flicking my forehead. I opened my eyes and Elliot was standing over me. I glared at him and sat up.

"Yes? Do you need something?" Elliot sat down on another bed and nodded.

"Yea, I wanted to let you know that Liv has left but will be back. I'm supposed to feed you dinner and entertain you until further notice. Two, I want to know what your middle name is and I am willing to use torture if I need to." I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes.

"One, where are we going to eat? And two I am not afraid of you Liv would kill you if you did anything to me." Elliot shrugged his shoulders. He looked like a little boy who had just lost his favorite toy.

"Please, it's killing me not knowing." I laughed at him and hopped off the bed. I slid my shoes back on and walked out of the cribs.

"No way!" Elliot followed me and we left the precinct. Elliot took me to a local diner that according to him is Liv's favorite. We sat down at the table and I looked over the menu. Once I decided on a chicken salad sandwich and water to drink I looked at Elliot. He'd been staring at me but I was trying to ignore him. I gave him a 'what' look and he smiled.

"Nothing, I just can't believe how much you look like Liv. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were sisters or mother daughter." I shrugged my shoulders. I knew I looked like Liv we had the same eye and hair color. Our facial features and skin tone sort of matched too. I was slightly tanner than her.

"Yea, I know. People used to always think she was my mother when we'd go out before my mom and I moved. I don't really look like my mom." Elliot nodded and then a waitress came and took our order. Elliot and I sat in an awkward silence for awhile.

"What do I have to do to get you to tell me your middle name?" I looked up at Elliot and rolled my eyes.

"Why is it so important for you to know?" Elliot leaned forward resting his elbows in the table.

"Because it makes Alex laugh and upset Liv when you said you didn't like it. So, what is it?" I shook my head and laughed.

"That's for me to know. Although some new clothes could persuade me into telling you." Elliot looked at me shocked.

"Are you trying to get me to bribe you into telling me?" Elliot started laughing.

"You said anything… But no, I'll tell you but I'll kill ya if you tell anyone." Elliot nodded and leaned forward. He looked like a kid on Christmas morning.

"What is it?" I laughed at Elliot's enthusiasm.

"I don't know if I can trust you. Why don't you ask Liv?" Elliot rolled his eyes. He scratched his head and leaned back.

"I did, she said she couldn't tell me and Alex said you threatened to kill her if she told." I nodded my head. That was true. I did threaten Alex but I didn't know why Liv wouldn't tell him.

"Well, if Liv won't tell you then I don't know if I can trust you. I guess you'll have to wait and see." Elliot glared at me. I honestly didn't understand why he cared so much. I just shrugged and looked up as our food arrived. We ate our food and headed back to precinct. Liv was sitting at her desk when we got back. I assume her case was successful because she was smiling.

"Hey guys!" We walked over and Liv stood up to give me a hug.

"Hey, I assume things are good here. Did ya get him?" Liv nodded and hugged me again. All this hugging was really weird to me. We were gonna have to try something else. Maybe a high five or something. I don't know.

"Yes, I only have a few more things to do and then we can go home." I smiled at Liv and sat down by her desk. Thinking about going back to Liv's made my stomach hurt. I knew Liv would want to talk as soon as we got back but I didn't want to ruin her good mood. We'd been sitting there for awhile Liv and Elliot doing paperwork and me spinning around in the chair when Elliot brought up my middle name again.

"So ladies…" Liv looked up and I stopped spinning in the chair and looked at him. "What am I gonna have to do to find out Garrett's middle name? I mean I could be a real jerk and look it up but I don't want to do that…" Liv and I looked at each other and then at him again.

"Her middle name is Olivia." Elliot looked at me and I nodded. He sat back and ran his hand through his hair.

"You hate your middle name being Olivia… Why?" I shrugged my shoulders and looked at Liv. She was staring at me too.

"I don't hate my middle name… It's just a hard name to live up to. I mean look at the woman! She's amazing and I'm…" I was interrupted by Liv and Elliot.

"Amazing too!" I rolled my eyes and spun around in the chair some more. Liv may have thought I was amazing now but once I told her everything she wouldn't. She'd think I was just another victim. Liv eventually stopped me from spinning. I looked at her and smiled.

"Ready to go?" I nodded and stood up. I stumbled a little but then got my bearings again. Liv and Elliot both laughed.

Liv and I left and drove home. The drive was silent except for the radio. The song, 'Does Anybody Hear Her' came on and I turned it up. I put my foot on the dash and drummed on my knee along with the song. Liv looked over at me before concentrating on the road again. I stared out the window as New York flew by the window. I was happy to be back but scared about my future. We got to the apartment and both got out of the car. Liv let us in and I grabbed some pjs before going to the bathroom. I took a quick shower and came out. Liv must have been in her room so I sat down on the couch. I looked out the window until Liv walked up showered and in home clothes. She was wearing an outfit similar to mine. She had on yoga pants and a tank top. I had on yoga pants and long sleeve-t. I must have been really deep in thought because I didn't even know she had taken a shower.

"Hey," Liv said. She sat down next to me. I hugged 'Wivia' to my chest and looked over at her before staring out the window again.

"Hi." Liv watched me for awhile before watching out the window also.

"How was dinner with El?" Liv was fiddling with the arm of the couch.

"Good, he got a hamburger and I got chicken salad… He tried to bribe me into telling him my middle name." Liv laughed.

"That's El. So how was staying with Alex last night?" I looked at Liv and sat up a little. The conversation was coming. Part of me wanted to tell her everything. Another part of me wanted to run and hide.

"Fine, we talked. She's a great listener and very understanding." Liv looked kind of hurt. I glanced at her once more before sinking down into the couch. Maybe if I sunk down low enough I would disappear.

"I'm a good listener and I can be understandable." Liv voice cracked and I felt awful. I had to do it. I had to tell her, even if she didn't want me anymore. I had to tell her.

"I know; it's different with Alex though. I haven't always looked up to her. Telling her I had nothing to lose. If I tell you I might lose everything." Liv looked at me confused. I took a few deep breaths and turned to face her.

"Garrett, I'm not gonna leave you even if you never tell me about your past… I'm not about sending you away because you got bad grades or did some stupid stuff in your younger years… I have always loved you and nothing or no one is ever going to change that… Just tell me, it can't be as bad as what I deal with at work." I looked at her and sighed. Here I went. Couldn't be as bad as she heard at work? To me it seemed 10 times worse.

"Okay, first off I want you to know that mom was always great…" Liv nodded. "At least the first four years of my life. Once we moved things changed… Mom was a druggie. She was hooked on heroine and smoked marijuana… She was never arrested for her use and she didn't sell… at first." I looked at Liv and she looked horrified. I was afraid she was beginning to think I was making this up. My mom and her had been best friends since high school.

"Go on." I turned so I was facing forward again. I couldn't look at Liv and tell her.

"As you know we moved to California when I was four. One reason for the move was because she believed she could get more bang for her buck, the second reason was because she didn't want to disappoint you or risk having you take me… The first few years my mom didn't do very much. She would take care of me if she sobered up but other than that a neighbor from downstairs would take care of me… Things got worse when I was six. My mom started dating more and more men and they were nice to me but as I grew so did their interest in me…" I put my head in my hands. I couldn't go on. This was too much.

"Garrett, did they…?" Liv couldn't even complete the sentence. I just nodded and I pushed my hand farther into my eyes. Liv moved closer to me and put her arm around my back. I jumped off the couch and moved so the coffee table was between us. I looked at her and she was crying. I shook my head.

"No, I need to finish… As I got older my mom's boyfriends were more and more interested in me… It started when I was 8. By the age of 14 I had been with as many men as my mom… That's when my mom decided to get married. She married Jonathon and at first I thought things were going to be okay. He didn't try to touch me or anything… That was until I came home from school one day and we were alone… He forced me into my room and did his thing…" Liv stood up but then sat back down. She knew not to push. She was being very 'detective' like. She had stopped crying. I hoped she would keep crying because then she wasn't being a detective but a parent who world was crashing down around them.

"After he was done my mom came home and found us… She told him that he had to beat me for being a bad girl… It was his way of proving his love to her… It wasn't the first time it had happened. They all had done it. A month or so after he realized that I was grown enough to walk the streets… He had a fake ID made up and my mom bought me a whole new wardrobe… The deal was that I got a fourth of the money I made… I hated doing it but knew I'd need that money one day…" I looked at Liv and was going to tell her about the scar but decided against it. If she only thought it was minor abuse she wouldn't want to kill him as bad. But if she knew he had scarred me up the way he did. She would go ape shit.

"What else happened?" I shrugged my shoulders. I stared down at the ground. The tears had stopped again. I had to be strong in front of Liv… I wasn't gonna be another victim.

"It lasted until mom died. Jonathon was arrested for possession with intent to sell when I was 15. My mom found someone new and the process repeated itself. He'd get his way and I'd get beat… I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to get taken away from my mom… I wouldn't have had anyone." I sat down in the chair and put my head in my hands.

I could hear Liv shuffling around and then I heard her talking to someone. I couldn't hear them so I knew she was on the phone. Liv went into her room and changed clothes. She came back out dressed like she was going to work.

"Come on, we need to go down to the station and get your statement. Those bastards are going down…" I dug the palms of my hands deeper into my eyes. I was pushing so hard it hurt. I eventually stood up and crossed my arms.

"No… I'm not going." Liv looked at me and then walked over. She reached for my upper arm but I pulled away.

"Yes, you are. We are not going to let them get away with this… Those men hurt you and you deserve justice." I just stood my ground.

"I don't want justice! I want it to all go away! It's the past! I'm not going to go through all that because you have to play super detective and save the day! I don't need saved! I just want you to be a parent or something. I don't need detective Liv… I need 'mom' Liv!" I walked away and slammed the bathroom door. I slid down the wall and buried my head in my knees. I hit my head on the door a few times and just let the tears fall. I sat there awhile before someone knocked on the door.

"Garrett, its Alex." I looked up at her trying to turn the doorknob and eventually stood up. I opened the door and Alex was standing there. I walked into her open arms and she rubbed my back. I looked around her arm for Liv but couldn't see her.

"Where's Liv?" Alex pulled back and wiped a few last stray tears.

"She went for a walk… I thought it was best if she cooled down." I nodded my head and went to sit down on the couch. Alex sat down next to me, I leaned on Alex and she wrapped her around my shoulder.

"I told her." Alex nodded. I tilted my head back and looked up at her.

"Yea… she called, said you refused to go to the station for give a formal statement." I nodded my head. I sat up and turned so I was facing Alex.

"That's when things went bad. She tried to be super detective… I didn't want that. I just wanted to have someone hold me and tell me it would be okay… She didn't even act like she cared… I knew it was a bad idea telling her." Alex sighed and sat up. She turned so she was facing me and grabbed my hands.

"That is Liv's way of caring… She wants to put the guys that hurt you away… She doesn't always show love the way we want it…" I looked down at our hands. Her thumbs were rubbing the back of my hands.

"I don't know… Maybe she isn't who I thought she was… Look can we just go to your house. I don't wanna be here when she gets back." Alex looked like she was about to refuse but then nodded. She got up and wrote Liv a note. I grabbed some of my dirty clothes; I noticed that Alex had a washer and dryer last time I was there. Alex and I left and went to her apartment. I went straight upstairs and into the guest room. I curled up on the bed and fell asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I know it's a short chapter but I think we need everyone's perspective on what's going on. I don't own Law&Order:SVU or any of it's characters. **

Liv's POV

I couldn't believe Miranda would let this happen to Garrett. She seemed so stable when I knew her. Obviously she was very good a deceiving people… Garrett just told me about her past. I'm so angry with Miranda, although I miss her, I would have had to of killed her and those bastards myself if I knew this was going on… Garrett was her baby and she let those men touch her and beat her… What kind of mother was she?

Garrett has just locked herself in the bathroom. I tried to get her to leave and go to the station to give a statement. She refuses, saying she doesn't need saved, calling me a super detective. She said she needs 'mom' Olivia, whatever that means. I feel awful for her but I deal with this type of case every day. What kind of parent would I be to Garrett if I didn't take action?

I called Alex to come over and she sent me on a walk. She said I needed to cool down and she would talk to Garrett… I'm hoping she can get through to her. Garrett needs someone on her side and if Alex is the one that she wants to lean on then she can. Let her lean on Alex. I'll go after the bad guys and Alex can support Garrett through the whole thing. Is that really what I want though?

I go back to the apartment. I need to talk to Garrett. Get her to understand what is going on. That she needs to give a statement so the LAPD can pick up the bastards that hurt her. I walk into the apartment and no one is there. I check the bathroom and my room. I begin to panic but then see a note on the counter I read the note. It says that Alex took Garrett to her place at her request. She will talk to her more in the morning and then let her decide where she wants to go. I slam my hands down but know it's probably best if I push Garrett too hard I'll push her away. I sit down on the couch and notice that 'Wivia' is sitting on the floor by the leg. I pick him up and hold him in my arms. I think about questions that have been going through my head and trying to come up with a plan to help Garrett.

I think about Miranda and what kind of mother she was. Garrett said that she would take care of her when she was sober… who does that remind me of… my own mother was the same way. She was abusive when she was drunk. Maybe I should… no that would be bad. Garrett doesn't need to know about my sorted past. Maybe I should have just hugged Garrett and let her cry into my shoulder. I pushed too hard. She went right to Alex and as much as I love Alex I want Garrett to be mine and not hers. I want Garrett to lean on me when she's hurt or upset. Maybe it would make me a better parent to do both. Keep my cop side but also have my motherly side. Be all in one.

I didn't know. I just knew Garrett was hurting and I wanted to do nothing more than hold her in my arms and kiss the pain away like when she was little… This pain was different though. I couldn't kiss it away. It never really goes away… I knew that from experience. I guess I should go to bed. I have to work in the morning. I walk into my room and change quickly. I curl up in bed with 'Wivia' still in my arms. It smells like Garrett. I close my eye still thinking about her… Hope Alex can talk Garrett into coming back to me. Garrett was wrong, I'm not awesome; I'm awful…


	10. Chapter 10

Alex's POV

I pulled up to the apartment and Garrett walked in. She went straight upstairs and into the guest room. She is overly tired and with everything that went on I'm just gonna let her sleep it off before trying to talk. Liv is probably back and madder than hell that I took Garrett but it's what she wanted. Garrett wanted to get away. The situation was becoming too overwhelming for her.

I carried the bag Garrett had brought into the laundry room and throw the cloths into the washer. Garrett needs more clothes, maybe Liv and I can take her shopping this weekend it's a good way to bond. Garrett also needs new shoes; the ones she owns are falling apart… I don't understand how anyone can hurt a kid as sweet as Garrett. I guess that's why I do what I do. I put away the bad guys that hurt the sweet kids of the world. I walk up to my room but divert and walked over to the guest room. The door is open a crack. I push it open slightly and looked at Garrett sleeping. She's curled into a small ball. Her arms are wrapped around part of the blanket. After making sure she's okay, I walk back into my room and lay down on my bed.

I begin to think about Liv again. I know where she's coming from. I understand that she wants to put the bad guys away and to protect Garrett from the world… Unfortunately that's no what's best for Garrett and I'm going to have to try and prove that to Liv tomorrow… Maybe I can talk Garrett into going and talking to her but I doubt it. I pulled the covers up and fell into a light sleep. I woke up a couple hours later after hearing someone scream and then a whimper. At first I didn't realize that someone else was in the house. Then I realized who it was. I jumped up and took off out of my room. I skidded to a halt just outside the guest room door. I slowly walked in and saw Garrett tossing and turning in the bed.

Garrett's eyes were squeezed shut and she was whimpering something. I couldn't make out what she was saying. Finally Garrett stopped tossing and turned. She was lying on her back with the sheets all tangled up around her. I stepped farther into the room but didn't step over to the bed… Where was Liv when I needed her she'd be much better at this… Garrett was awake. I could see the light glinting off the whites of her eyes. She was just staring at the ceiling. The nightmare was over… I stepped closer and I saw her flinch.

"Garrett, it's Alex," I said softly. She looked over at me. She looked like a little girl. She untangled herself from the sheets after a minute and sat up. With her knees pulled to her chest she stared over at me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." I shook my head and walked over to the bed. I sat down in front of her and could feel the sheets were wet from her sweating.

"It's okay. Are you okay? You wanna talk about it." She shook her head.

"I dreamt that Liv gave up on me and that no matter how hard we fought my stepdad still got custody… He ended up killing me." I gasped and slid closer to her. She just sat there staring at the ceiling. Her pajamas were soaked through with sweat and the light from the hall glinted off her skin.

"That's not going to happen… Liv loves you and she will come around. We'll make her understand what you want… You need to come around too though. You need to realize that Liv is doing what she's doing because she loves you. This is how she handles things; it's how she shows she cares." She nods her head and looks down at the comforter.

"I'm gonna take a shower." I nod and get up. I follow her to the hall and then go into my room. I return with more of Liv's clothes. She takes them and walks into the bathroom. I change her bed from the sweaty sheets and then go into my room. I grab Liv's perfume and spray it on the bed… She had told me yesterday morning that she loved the smell of Liv's perfume; it was the one Liv had worn when she was little.

I waited for Garrett to come out of the bathroom. I wanted to make sure she didn't need anything before I went back to bed. I knew I'd only get another hour of sleep but it didn't matter… Garrett was what mattered. I had to get Liv back for her. If it was the last thing I did. I was going to reunite them.

Garrett came out dressed in the clean clothes. I took the dirty ones and tossed them in the laundry chute. She went back into the room. She just stood in the doorway staring at the bed. I walked up and placed my hand on her back. She jumped and then turned towards me.

"I changed the sheets." She nodded and then looked at me.

"The room smells like Liv." I nodded and took her hands in mine.

"I thought it might make you more comfortable." She nodded her head and stared at our hands.

"Uhm, will you…stay?" I could barely hear her but nodded my head and we walked into the room. She lay down and I threw the blankets over her. I lay down next to her and she instantly curled up into my side. I put my arm around her and lay her head on my shoulder. I listened in the dark until I heard her breathing even out and I knew she was asleep. I laid there awake and just listened to her softly snore. She was just like Liv; they even snored the same.

I fell asleep and then was awoken by something hitting my stomach. I opened my eyes and saw Garrett asleep on her stomach. Her arm was laying across my stomach. I softly groaned and shimmied out from under her arm. Once I was clear I stood up and headed for my room. I was going to be late for work but didn't care. I was going to have lunch with Olivia and that was my only concern of the day.

I showered and got dressed. I checked on Garrett again and then left a note with my cell number on it and Liv's number, just in case she wanted to talk to her. I left and headed for the courthouse. I didn't know how I would concentrate on work… All I wanted was to talk with Liv and try to get her to understand.

I arrived and was surprised to see Liv sitting outside my office. I walked up and smiled at her. She half smiled/ half glared back at me. I unlocked my office and told my secretary to hold my calls.

"So Liv, what's up?" Liv looked up from the chair she had sat down in. I set my briefcase down and then sat down behind my desk.

"How's Garrett?" I looked up. Liv looked like she hadn't slept much. I did too but she looked more miserable.

"Okay… she's sleeping. She had a nightmare last night." Liv looked up her eyes full of worry.

"Is she okay? What happened?" I just looked at her and felt awful for her.

"Yes, she's fine… She dreamt that you gave up on her and that no matter how hard we fought her stepfather got custody of her and killed her." Liv gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.

"Oh my God! That's not going to happen though… He won't get custody of her. We won't let him." I nodded my head.

"I know. She's still scared though… But anyway, I was thinking we could go shopping this weekend. It's a good way to bond and I think that's what she needs right now is to bond with you… Get back the feelings she had when she was little and still lived in New York… That and she has no clothes. She's been wearing yours." Liv smiled at me. She thought it was a good idea to.

"Alex, that sounds like a wonderful idea. What if she doesn't want me there?" I looked at Liv like she was stupid.

"She wants to be with you… You just need to understand that she is your goddaughter and not a victim." Liv shook her head and stood up. I walked over and gave her a hug.

"I love you so much Liv… Don't screw things up with her. She needs you way too much to lose you." Liv nodded and hugged me back. I gave her a quick kiss on the lips and she left. She came back and poked her head in.

"I love you too and thanks. I don't know what I'd do without you." I smiled at her and she left. I started on paperwork for cases I had. I felt better but I was still worried about both my girls. Even though I had no tie to Garrett minus the fact that she was living with me; she was still my girl.

Liv's POV

I woke up this morning and felt awful. My stomach was in knots and I just wanted to know if Garrett was okay. I thought about calling Alex but didn't want to interrupt if they were talking. I got ready and drove to work not being able to get either Garrett or Alex off my mind… Alex was amazing to me. She had stepped right up and took over with Garrett when Garrett needed her. Garrett was able to lean on her for support.

Garrett worried me. I was afraid I pushed her too hard and now she was gone. She had asked for Alex to take her to her house. She didn't want me around. I was awful… I'm gonna have to get her back. I can't just let her go; I've loved her too long and missed her too much to let her disappear again.

I'm almost to the precinct when I can't fight the urge anymore. I turn away from the precinct and head to the courthouse. I pull up at the courthouse and hop of my car. I go inside and up to Alex's office. She's not there yet. It's strange but maybe she was taking Garrett to the precinct. I quickly texted El and ask but he says he hasn't seen either of them… I begin to worry but then hear the familiar click of heels on the floor. I sigh and look up as Alex walks towards me. She smiled at me and I try to smile back but I'm still made she took Garrett from me.

She lets us into her office and I sit down in chair across from her desk. She looks tired like she had a long night… I'm hoping her night was full of talking but who knows. She sits down at her desk and asks me what's up. I ask her about Garrett and she says that she's sleeping because she had a nightmare… My heart tightens in my chest… I'm worried about her. I ask what it was about and if she is okay. Alex tells me about the nightmare and my heart falls. My chest is so tight it hurts. I've really messed up… I should have been there for Garrett not Alex. Although I'm glad Garrett had someone… I still feel a little jealous.

Alex tells me about her shopping idea and I think it's a good one. I knew Garrett didn't have much clothes and shopping was a good way to bond. I have to leave and get to work before I get fired. I get up to leave and Alex comes over. She hugs me and tells me that she loves me before warning me about screwing up. She knows Garrett needs me and that I need Garrett. I leave but then stick my head back in to say I love her too.

I drive to precinct. My mind is still preoccupied but I know that Garrett is still safe with Alex so I'm at ease. My chest still feels like it's going to explode. I need to see Garrett but I don't want her to run. I arrive at the precinct and ran upstairs. I was soo late. I knew El would cover for me but still needed to be there. I get there and sit down at my desk. I begin paperwork that needed to be done while trying to keep my mind off Garrett. Tomorrow will be a better day. It's Saturday and we're supposed to go shopping. I pray Garrett's style isn't as bad as her clothes thus far have shown… When she was little it was all about frilly dresses. I wonder if I can get her to go back to that… Probably not!


	11. Chapter 11

Garrett's POV

I woke up and looked around the room. I sat up and wiped the drool off my face. I looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand and it flashes 2:10p. I got up and noticed my clothes were folded and piece of paper lay on top. I read the note from Alex. It said to have a good day and she would be home by dinner. It listed her and Liv's cell numbers if I needed anything. I stuffed the note in my pocket and headed downstairs. I went into the kitchen and looked around for something to eat. The fridge was relatively empty. I checked the cabinets and thought I was going to come up short when I found a case of ravioli. I pulled a can out and laughed to myself about Alex having ravioli in the house. What was she five?

I grabbed a bowl out and emptied the can into the bowl. I put it into the microwave and waited for it to heat up. I wandered into the living room while I was waiting and stared at the TV. There were four remotes sitting on the end table. I grabbed one that looked like it belonged to the TV but then set it back down. I wasn't even going to fool with it. The microwave beeped and I went into the kitchen to get my food. I hopped up on the counter and ate. I hadn't had ravioli in forever and it was as good as I always remembered. I finished eating and washed my bowl and spoon.

I wandered back to Alex's study. I had seen books in there when we walked by. I figured if I couldn't want TV or listen to music then I'd mine as well read. I looked through the books and quickly realized that they were all about law or police work. I pulled out one that was about constitutional law and criminal law. I sat down in the chair and flipped through the book before picking a section and reading.

I read the book for awhile before getting bored. I put the book back and walked back into the living room. I was about to sit down on the couch and jumped as the front door opened. Alex came in with her hands full. I walked over and grabbed a few bags. I took them into the kitchen and set them on the counter before hoping up onto the counter. Alex comes in with the rest of the groceries and starts putting them away.

"How was work?" Alex looked over at me before going back to the task at hand.

"Good, got all my paper work done so I'm free all weekend… Speaking of this weekend I thought we could go clothes shopping. Maybe Liv can come along also. If you don't care?" I looked up at her.

"Sounds good… I don't care if she comes as long as she wants too." Alex gave me a tired smile. I felt bad because Alex had been up with me instead of getting sleep.

"She does… I talked to her this morning." I nodded my head and looked down at the floor.

"Then, I guess I'm cool with it." Alex walked over and pushed my chin up with her index finger.

"Great… so what did you do today?" Alex walked back over and put the last groceries away. I hopped off the counter and walked into the living room.

"I read a book… that's okay, right? I didn't mean to disturb your personal sanctuary but I couldn't get the TV to work and I don't have my music because it's at Liv's. So I read." Alex walked into the living room as I sat down on the couch. She walked over and was about to sit down when the door bell buzzed.

She walked over to the door and opened it. Liv was standing on the other side looking horrible. I looked up at her and she just stared down at the ground. She was rocking back and forth with her hands behind her back.

"Hey Liv, what are you doing here?" Liv held out my IPod, a cell phone and 'Wivia'.

"I thought Garrett might want these… The cell is my old one. I got it activated and figured Garrett could pick out a phone tomorrow… She left the IPod at the house so I thought she might want it… I thought 'he' might help at night." Liv never looked up at me. I eventually got up and walked over to where she and Alex were standing. Alex put her arm around my waist. I felt ten tons a guilt pour over me when I got closer to Liv. She looked like she hadn't slept in weeks even though this had only been going on for a day.

"Thanks Liv; you wanna stay for dinner? You guys still owe me take out and a movie! I saw Alex's collection, it's massive." Liv looked up at me and smiled. I took 'Wivia' from her and hugged him to my chest. He smelt like her, I knew she had slept with him.

"You don't mind?" I shook my head and shrugged. I walked back over to the couch and sat down pulling my legs up under me. Liv walked in and sat down in the chair. Alex came over and sat on the other end of the couch. We all sat there lost in our own little worlds. I was still mad at Liv for trying to make me into a victim but I felt awful after I saw the way she looked.

Liv's POV

Garrett invited me to stay for dinner. I don't know what to think. This is a huge step in the right direction… Maybe Alex was right us spending time together would help us bond. I really just want Garrett to be okay and if that means loving her and hugging her and telling her everything will be okay is the way I need to do then so be it.

Alex's POV

I am soo proud of Garrett. She just took a major step in the right direction and invited Liv to stay for dinner and maybe a movie. Liv looked so helpless and sad when she showed up at the door but after Garrett's invitation she looked 10 times better. Maybe there is hope for my girls.


	12. Chapter 12

Garrett's POV

I did my part. I invited Liv to stay for dinner. I made her feel better now it's her turn. I was less mad at her once I saw how she looked. I felt guilty… Guilty for telling her and guilty for not accepting her help. I didn't need her help though! I had detectives on my side. I needed my 'Livia' not Detective Olivia Benson. I knew we both still had a long way to go but I hoped after this weekend things would get better. Liv would be my 'Livia' and not Detective Olivia Benson.

I watched as Liv wrung her hands and stared down at the coffee table. Alex seemed lost in her own mind. I was becoming more bored by the second. I finally couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm going to take a shower… You two need to decide what's for dinner." I hopped off the couch and headed to the stairs case. Alex and Liv were discussing something. I stopped on the bottom step and looked back. "Hey Liv! I'm really glad you're here!" Liv looked and I could tell she had tears in her eyes. Alex was smiling like a fool.

I went upstairs and put 'Wivia' on the bed and grabbed some clean comfy clothes. I went into the bathroom and showered. I also figured this would give Liv and Alex time to talk. I knew Alex would want to.


	13. Chapter 13

Liv's POV

I watch Garrett walk upstairs before turning back and looking at Alex. She's smiling like a fool and I'm just waiting for the 'I told ya so'. I'm glad Garrett still wants me around and as much as I want to have these cases prosecuted I think I'll be better off just letting it go.

"So we owe the illustrious Garrett Phillips take out and a movie?" Alex nodded and laughed.

"Yes, I'm thinking Thai food and maybe we can watch 'My Sisters Keeper'. I doubt Garrett has seen it." I roll my eyes. 'My Sisters Keeper' is Alex's favorite movie. I can agree with her on the Thai food but not the movie.

"I agree with Thai food but come on really Alex. We watch that movie every weekend. Let's do something with more action or something scary." Alex rolled her eyes and shook her head. She crossed her arms and leaned back into the couch.

"No way! Garrett already has nightmares… I don't need you making them worse." I looked at Alex shocked. I couldn't believe she would use nightmares as an excuse. She hated scary movies but if we watched them together then she would curl up with me.

"Okay, 'Wizard of Oz'. Garrett loved it when she was little." Alex smiled and nodded. We were in agreement. Thai food and

'Wizard of Oz' it was. Garrett came back downstairs in yoga pants and a long sleeve-t. She sat down on the couch and looked at both of us.

"We decided on Thai food and 'Wizard of Oz'," Alex said. Garrett's eyes lit up at the name of the movie. I could tell she still loved it. Our song had been 'Over the Rainbow', I'd sing it to her when I'd put her bed.

"I've never had Thai food but it sounds good… I love 'Wizard of Oz'!" Garrett stared down at the couch like she was embarrassed about loving the movie.

"It's one of my favorites too." Garrett looked up at me. She already knew that even though I used to complain all the time about having to watch it over and over with her.

"Yea… but uh Liv no singing along to 'Over the Rainbow'. I mean I must have been tone deaf when I was little." Alex covered her face with a pillow as she started laughing. Garrett was fighting off laughter and I just sat in the chair pouting.

"I'm not that bad!" Alex and Garrett looked at each other and then at me.

"Yea… you are!" Alex and Garrett both said. I got up and headed towards the stairs. I went upstairs and after Alex and Garrett had calmed down Garrett came after me. I was standing in front of the guest room that she was staying in. It smelt like my perfume.

"Liv, I'm sorry if we hurt your feelings." I turned around and looked at her. She did look genuinely sorry. I shrugged and went back to staring in the room.

"It's cool. El tells me the same thing all the time." Garrett giggled and then walked up and into the room.

"He's correct… Alex sprayed your perfume in here. She thought it would make me more comfortable… I can't believe you wear the same perfume as when I was little." I walked in and sat down on the end of the bed.

"No reason to change a good thing… You still love the smell of it?" Garrett nodded her head as she sat down in the rocking chair in the corner.

"Yea… she was right. It helped…" Garrett stopped. She was staring out the window.

"With?" Garrett shook her head and left the room. I sat there for a minute and then followed. She was downstairs with Alex. Alex was on the phone ordering dinner and Garrett was browsing through the menu. Garrett pointed to something on the menu and Alex nodded.

I walked into the kitchen and Garrett looked up. She handed Alex the menu and left the kitchen. She went down the hall to Alex's study. I went to follow but Alex grabbed my arm. She shook her head and I stopped. I waited and Garrett came back with the movie in her hand. Alex was done on the phone.

"Why don't you go put that on? Liv and I will be there in a minute." Garrett nodded her head and went into the living room. Alex shut the door and looked at me.

"What?" Alex walked over and took my hands in hers.

"She's really glad you're here… But she feels like you're mad at her… Mad because she needs to smell your perfume to feel protected." I looked at Alex like she was crazy.

"I'm not mad that you sprayed it around the room. If it helps her then I'm all for it… Why does she think I'm mad that she needs to smell it?" Alex looked at the door.

"Because it'll make you feel like she doesn't want you around now… The perfume is something that she remembers from her first couple of years. The years that _you_ protected her when they lived in New York… She wants to believe that you can protect her but she already trusted someone to protect her and we all know how well that went." I nodded my head and stared at the door. Garrett liked the perfume because it reminded her of when she was little and felt safe. It made sense from what she said things began to fall apart after they moved.

"I understand but how would that make me mad?" Alex looked at the floor and then went to the fridge she pulled out three waters and handed me one.

"She's also afraid that you're mad because she feels comfortable with me… She believes that you think she is trying to replace you with me… That seeing us together is going to make you leave." I shook my head. This kid was confusing the hell out of me. She doesn't want me around because I'm too 'cop' like but she wants me around because she feels safe with me. She's also afraid that I think she's trying to replace me with Alex. It was all too much. I didn't know how to handle this but I did know that I needed to let Garrett know that I wasn't going anywhere no matter what happened or who she was close with. She came back to me and I was going to protect her and love her, even if it killed me.

"I don't understand but what else is new… Why don't we just go join her and watch the movie?" Alex nodded and we both left the kitchen. Garrett was sitting on the chair with the movie in her hand.

"I don't understand your system." Alex nodded and took the movie. She put the movie on and then sat down on the couch. I sat down next to Alex and she leaned on me. Garrett looked over and smiled. I could tell she was happy that Alex and I were together. She also looked a little jealous. Like Alex was more important to me than her. She used to be the one that sat with me when we watched 'Wizard of Oz'.

Garrett looked away when I looked at her. She concentrated on the movie. She pulled her knees up and kicked her legs over the side of the chair. I wanted to tell her to come sit with us but thought better of it. I was afraid she would get upset or something. Who knew with this kid?

We watched the movie in silence. The movie was half way over when the food arrived. Alex got up and got the food. I got up to help her get everything else. As I walked past Garrett I noticed she was asleep. I laughed and covered her with a blanket from the back of the couch. She never managed to make it through the movie. I honestly wasn't sure if she'd ever seen the whole thing. I went into the kitchen and Alex was serving up food. She was about to make a third plate when I shook my head.

"She's asleep. She's never made it through the movie. I think it has something to do with 'Over the Rainbow'." Alex laughed. She handed me a plate and we went back in to finish watching the movie. Garrett slept through the whole thing and showed no sign of waking up. Alex went into the kitchen to put the food away and I went upstairs to get Garrett's bed ready. I was coming back downstairs and she was sitting up in the chair. Alex was sitting next to her. She looked upset. Alex was rubbing her back. I walked over and sat down on the coffee table. Garrett looked at me and then down at the ground. She'd been crying her eyes were all red.

"I'm okay… I'm just gonna go to bed." She gave Alex a quick hug and then got up. She went upstairs and I heard the door close. I stared at Alex waiting for an explanation.

"She had another nightmare, I guess… I don't know, I came back in and found her sitting here in tears. I sat down and she leaned on me." Alex went to get up but I grabbed her hand.

"Did you ask?" Alex shook her head and went into the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and followed.

"She wouldn't tell me… she was scared. I was just trying to make her more comfortable." I nodded my head. I could understand that.

"I'm gonna go check on her." Alex grabbed my arm. I turned towards her and she had tears in her eyes.

"We need to fix this for her… You've got to make it better." I nodded my head and left the kitchen. I ran up the stairs two at a time. I walked over to the guest room and slowly opened the door. I stepped inside and walked over to the bed. Garrett lay with her back to me. She was back asleep. I pulled the covers up around her and brushed some hair off her face. I bent over and kissed her head before leaving. I went into Alex's room and pulled a pair of yoga pants out of the drawer. I changed into them and a tank and lay down on the bed. Alex came up a few minutes later.

"I never said you could stay." I looked at Alex and she was smiling.

"I never asked… If I'm gonna protect her, I need to be here." Alex nodded and came over to sit down on the edge of the bed.

"I don't care that you're here. I've missed having you around." Alex laid down next to me and I wrapped my arms around her. I rolled over so I was on my side.

"I've missed being around… Alex I'm sorry that you've gotten put in the middle. I never intended for you to get this involved in Garrett's trouble. If it's too much I can make her go with me." Alex sat up and looked at me shocked.

"I'm not sorry! I'm thrilled to be helping that girl. Your girl, _my _girl… I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now. She needs people she can trust and I intend to be one of those people… no matter what." I smiled at Alex and she blushed. Alex was right Garrett was 'our' girl and we had to protect her and make her feel safe. She had to be able to trust us and me playing 'detective' wasn't helping.

"Do you know how much I love you right now?" Alex shook her head and got off the bed. She grabbed some clothes out of the dresser and went into the adjoining bathroom.

"Not tonight Liv. I have a headache and our girl is just down the hall." I busted out laughing and watched as she closed the door. I hadn't heard that in forever. She was using Garrett to not have sex with me. It should have bothered me but it just made me laugh.

Alex came back out of the bathroom and lay down next to me. She curled up into my side and I wrapped my arms around her. We were both overly tired and it was beginning to show. I was just about asleep when Alex kissed my forehead.

"I love you too." Alex rolled over and fell asleep. I breathed in her shampoo and smiled. I kissed the back of her head and closed my eyes. Things seemed perfect, if I didn't think about what all Garrett had been through. I had both my girls with me.

I woke up with a start. Someone was screaming. I looked over at Alex and she was still asleep. I climbed out of bed and walked to the door. The screams were coming from the guest room. I glanced back at Alex and left the room. I walked into the guest room and Garrett wasn't in bed. I listened for her to scream again but she didn't. I could hear a soft whimpering coming from inside the closet. I opened the door but could only see clothes. I began pulling the clothes out and eventually dug my way to the back of the closet. I found Garrett sitting back there curled up in a ball. She had 'Wivia' sitting on her lap. Her head was tucked into the corner and her eyes were squeezed shut.

I knelt down next to her and slowly reached out. My hand touched her shoulder and she jumped.

"No! Don't hurt me! Please! I didn't do anything!" I removed my hand.

"Garrett, its Olivia… No one is going to hurt you. It was just a dream." Garrett shook her head and moved closer to the wall.

"No, they're going to hurt me… They're going to blame my mother's death on me." I looked at her shocked. I had no idea who 'they' were but I assumed it was someone with authority.

"Squirrel, no one is going to blame you for your mother's death. You had nothing to do with that… Now come on, let's get out of the closet." Garrett opened her eyes for the first time. She looked at me and then slowly took the hand I held out. I led the way out of the closet and then kicked the clothes I had pulled down in. Garrett was sitting on the bed. I sat down across from her and she scooted away.

"I'm fine… you can go back to bed." I looked down at the comforter.

"Garrett, I want to help." She shook her head.

"I'm fine… please, just go back to bed." I gave in. Fighting with her wasn't something I wanted to do. I also didn't want to go to bed. I left the room and pulled the door partially closed. I sat down against the wall so she couldn't see me. I pulled my knees up and just listened.

Garrett whimpered again. She began crying and I wanted nothing more than to go in there and hold her. Eventually her crying stopped and was replaced by a soft snoring. I knew she had cried herself to sleep… I sat there for awhile but then got up and went back to bed. Alex was staring at me as I walked in.

"What?" I sat down on the bed and scratched my head.

"Just wondering why you came back here. Garrett needs you." I shook my head and buried my face in my hands.

"No, she told me to leave… She doesn't want me. She's asleep again but only after crying herself to sleep." Alex rubbed my back and pulled me down so I was laying next to her.

"She does need you… she won't admit it until you say you were wrong. That you weren't just trying to arrest the bad guys that you genuinely thought you were helping." I lay with my back to Alex and don't answer. I know she's right. I just want those guys dead so bad. They hurt my Garrett, my Squirrel… I should have protected her and taken her before they moved but I didn't. I didn't help her when she really needed it. I failed her.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: So I have planned out the rest of the story and I'm hoping you'll like it. There will probably be a series of stories based off Garrett, Olivia and Alex. This story had about 4 more chapters. I am at least promising a sequel... I don't own anything from Law&Order: SVU**

Shopping!

Garrett's POV

I woke up to the sun shining in through the window. I shielded my eyes and sat up. My head was pounding, a usual side affect of having a severe nightmare. I rubbed my head and kicked my legs over the bed. I grabbed some clean clothes and went into the bathroom. I took a shower and put on the clean clothes. I stashed the dirty ones in my room and then left the room. I walked downstairs and could smell eggs and sausage and pancakes. The smell was making me nauseous. I walked towards the kitchen and could hear Alex singing along to the radio. She had a decent voice. I walked in and Liv was sitting on the counter watching Alex cook.

"Good morning!" Alex said. Her voice was full of cheer and I wanted to strangle her. I held my hand up and covered my eyes from the light. Liv turned the radio off and hopped off the counter. She came and stood next to me.

"You okay?" I shook my head and walked back out of the kitchen. I ran to the half bathroom and tossed my cookies. Liv came in seconds later and help my hair back. Alex was right behind her. I sank down against the wall and Liv knelt down next to me. She felt my forehead and then looked at Alex.

"Is she warm?" Liv shook her head and then looked at me.

"Does your head hurt?" I nodded my head and leaned into the corner of the bathroom.

"I have headaches like this sometimes. Get her some aspirin. I'm gonna take her upstairs." Liv helped me stand and held me up. She led me upstairs and into Alex's room. I wasn't sure why but the room was darker and that helped. She pulled the covers down and helped me sit. I resisted laying down.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked as she walked in.

"She won't lay down." Liv was trying to force me to lay down without hurting me.

"I can't… I don't know what you guys did in here last night, bad mental image." Liv and Alex rolled their eyes.

"We slept in here. That's all… Now come on, lay down." I gave in and lay down. I covered my head with my arm. I felt like my brain was going to explode. Liv sat down behind me and rubbed my back. Alex handed me the aspirin and I took it. I took a drink of water and then reburied my head. I rolled over and rested my head on Liv's leg. Alex flipped on the ceiling fan and I cringed when the lights came on. She ran over and pulled the chord to shut them off.

"Sorry." I closed my eyes and Liv kept rubbing my back. I could hear Alex leave but then come back. Liv laid a cold washcloth on my forehead and then I felt the bed sag. I assumed Alex sat down next to Liv.

"Go eat your breakfast… I'll be fine." Liv's hand stopped rubbing my back.

"I'm not going anywhere… Try to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." I slowly nodded my head. I reached over and felt around for Alex's hand. I held onto it and she ran her thumb across the back of my hand. Liv resumed rubbing my back and I slowly fell asleep.

I woke back up and my head felt better. Liv was still sitting there. She'd fallen asleep. She and Alex were both leaning on each other. Alex was asleep also. I sat up and Liv woke up. Her hand tightened on my arm. She smiled at me. I must have looked ten times better.

"Hey, you feelin' better?" I nodded and stared down at the bed.

"Yea, thanks for helping. I normally just deal with them… It hasn't been this bad in awhile." Liv rubbed my arm. Alex was beginning to wake up.

"It's no problem… I know what it's like." I looked at Alex and she was smiling. I rolled my eyes and looked at the clock. It was 11am.

"So… I heard something about shopping yesterday." Liv laughed and eventually Alex did too.

"Are you sure you're up to it?" I nodded my head.

"Yea, besides Liv's gonna run out of clothes if I wear all of them… Not to mention they make me look old. " Liv pulled me towards her and half hugged me. I wanted to pull back but didn't. Even though I took Liv's help this morning didn't mean she was forgiven. She then pushed me away and I fell off the bed. Liv and Alex both looked over the bed. I just lay on the floor in a fit of laughter. Liv and Alex both busted out laughing.

Liv and Alex both got ready. I lay on Alex's bed. I watched as they both ran around picking and choosing clothes. Once Liv was dressed she lay down next to me. I sat up and moved off the bed.

"I'm gonna go put my shoes on." Liv nodded. She looked slightly disappointed. I felt slightly guilty but I wasn't going to fully give in. I went into the guest room and grabbed a pair of socks and my shoes. My shoes weren't gonna make it through a day of shopping. The soles were already falling off. If shoes could talk mine would be saying, 'put us out of our misery.' Liv came over and stood by the door. I looked up and I put my shoe on. Liv just shook her head.

"Do you need something?" Liv nodded and walked over to the bed.

"Yea, what size shoe do you wear?" I looked down at my feet. I had big feet I couldn't deny it.

"Depends on the shoe, these are 10's, they fit well… Or at least they used too." Liv nodded and got up. She left and I just sat there with one shoe on. It was depressing; I'd never had shoes get this bad. My mom always got me the newest and coolest. The last year something had changed and it wasn't for the better.

"Here try these on." Liv handed me a pair of black boots. They were Uggs. I put one on and it fit relatively well. My toes were a little scrunched but not horribly. I kicked off my gym shoe and put the other one on.

"They fit… I can just wear my old shoes. I don't want to take someone's shoes." Liv sat down and laid her hand on my shoulder.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. They are just to borrow… If you want a pair we can get some while we're shopping." I looked down at the Uggs. I had always wanted a pair but I had no money.

"I don't have any money… I can't afford to buy anything." Liv lifted my chin and made me look at her. I was embarrassed to take Liv's money from her. She had worked hard for it and shouldn't have to waste it on me.

"Alex and I do… Besides a certain 16 year old has a birthday coming up. Garrett we are going to buy you some new clothes and new shoes. Don't worry about it… we _want_ to spend our money on you… We both care about you and we want you to be happy." I nodded my head. I knew Liv would be paying for my new stuff. It made me feel bad but I couldn't deny that I came back here for her help. So I guess her spending money on clothes for me was part of helping me.

"Thanks, my mom was always really good about getting me new clothes and shoes… But this last year was hard on her. I don't know what was wrong but something was." Liv nodded her head. She messed with my hair and then stood up. She held out her hand and I took it. She pulled me off the bed and pulled me to Alex's room. Alex was still getting ready.

"Come on Alex. We're ready to go!" Liv seemed overly excited about shopping. I don't know if it was because we were shopping or the people she was shopping with.

"I'm coming… Let me get my purse and we can go." We all went downstairs and Liv and Alex grabbed their jackets. Liv handed me an NYPD zip up hoodie. I took it and tied it around my waist.

We left Alex's apartment and headed down to Liv's car. We all loaded up and I watched as Liv pulled away from the curb and headed towards the interstate. I thought we were going to be shopping downtown but we were headed out of the city.

"Where are we going?" Alex looked back at me.

"Upstate… There are some great malls up there." I nodded my head and shrugged. I'd have to take their word. I stared out the window and watched as New York passed by. About an hour later we pulled off the interstate and into a parking lot. The mall was big and the names I could read seemed like nice stores. I could tell we were in Alex's world. She seemed to be beaming. We all got out of the car and I followed Liv and Alex towards the shops.

Liv, Alex and I shopped for awhile before I even picked anything out. All the stores were top end and I didn't feel comfortable buying clothes from there. Liv and Alex were walking ahead of me but Liv slowed down so she was walking next to me.

"So, I know you don't want to spend our money but if you don't start picking out clothes I'm going to have to do it for you… And remember my style makes you look old." I shook my head and smiled.

"These stores are too expensive… I'm thinking we need to go to American Eagle or something." Liv nodded her head.

"We can take care of that." I nodded my head and we caught up with Alex.

Once we reached the stores I liked to shop at, I picked out some clothes. Liv seemed pleased that my style didn't match the one of the clothes that I had brought with me… My mom had picked out most of those and I really didn't like them. I didn't have much of a choice though. It was either wear them or go naked.

We headed to a shoe store and I was in heaven. Like every female I was into shoes. I picked out three pairs. I picked out a pair of Nike Shox, a pair of Jordans and the other was Converse. I also got a few pairs of basketball shorts and a couple of hoodies. Last we headed to Abercrombie and Fitch. I got a few pairs of jeans from there and a couple of shirts. By dinner time I had enough clothes to last me a while.

Liv and Alex got some new clothes also. Liv decided to make a trip to Target also. Liv and I were looking at clothes while Alex wondered off to look at other stuff. Liv and I had been shopping for awhile when Liv stopped me.

"Hey Garrett, I know things have been tough between us lately but I really want to help you." I looked over my shoulder at her and then back at the shirt I was holding.

"Okay, I don't need another detective on my side. I need a 'mom'." Liv laid her hand on my shoulder and I looked over at her again.

"I know; it's hard though… I want to put those guys away so badly. I want you to have the justice you deserve." I nodded my head and turned so I was facing her.

"I do too… The thing is, I'm trying to forget my past… I want to move on with you and… Alex. My past was awful and my favorite times to remember are the ones I remember from when I was really little and you lived with my mom and me… The detectives from LA are trying to press charges against Jonathan… I'm scared that if the jury acquits him. I'll have to stay with him." Liv pulled me to her and wrapped her arms around me. I hugged her and dropped the clothes I was holding.

"I promise you… he will never hurt you again… I'm gonna protect you this time Garrett. I failed you last time but this time I have you with me and I'll keep you safe… Forever and always." I pulled back and looked at her. She had tears in her eyes. I gave her a weak smile and she smiled back. She ran her fingers through my ponytail. I pulled away and picked up the clothes I had dropped.

"I'm really glad I came back here… to you." Liv ran her hand over my face as Alex walked up.

"Okay, so I'm hungry and I think we've maxed out three of my credit cards… Are we ready to go?" Liv and I nodded our heads. We walked towards the checkouts. Liv paid for all the stuff I had picked out and we left. I was wiped out after shopping but had a good day. We went to a pizza joint on the way back to Alex's. We decided to just get take out because no one was in the mood to sit in a busy restaurant. Alex ran in and picked up the pizza that Liv had called in while Alex was putting gas in the car.

Alex came back with the pizzas. I leaned forward as she handed the pizza to Liv. I inhaled deeply and smiled. Dinner was gonna be good. Liv laughed as I tried to pop open the top of one of the boxes and pick off some toppings.

"Not till we get back… Sit back and buckle your belt." I sat back and crossed my arms. I put my best pouting face on. Liv looked in the rearview mirror and rolled her eyes.

"Mean," I mumbled under my breath.

"It didn't work when you were three and it's not going to work now." I stuck my tongue out at her and Alex was laughing.

"Super mean," I mumbled again. Alex and Liv were both laughing.

"Are you five?" I shook my head and stared out the window. I had to fight not to bust out laughing.

We got back to Alex's and eveyone grabbed something. Liv had decided while we were at American Eagle that a fashion show was in order. Alex and I had both rolled our eyes but were kind of excited to see what all the clothes would look like. Liv carried the pizza in and set them on the counter Alex and I piled all the shopping bags by the couch. I sat down on the couch and liv came in with two plates. She handed me one and in took it.

"Thanks!" Liv sat down next to me and we both folded our pizza before taking a bite. Alex laughed from the doorway of the kitchen.

"I see things see okay between the two of you." Liv and I both nodded our heads.

"Things are very good between us." Alex say down in the chair. After we ate our pizza and cleaned up the mess and leftovers the fashion show began. We all went upstairs and turned Alex's closet into a dressing room. Liv made me try on all my clothes first.

I had tried on all my clothes but some jeans. Liv had gone into mother mode and would do the shake test on all my pants. I didn't understand why but she did. Alex was rolling on the floor the first time she did it. I just rolled my eyes but let her check everything.

Next was Alex's turn. She didn't have very much. Liv was anoutn to take her turn when her phone rang. She came back out of the closet in half old clothes half new. She looked angry.

"Cragen?" Liv nodded and sat down at the foot of the bed. She pulled her boots on and then stood up.

"I will call if I'll be gone all night. I love you both." Liv kissed Alex and then kissed my forehead. Liv took off out the door and I looked up at Alex from my place on the bed. she smiled at me and I sat up. I pulled my new phone out of my pocket and text Liv.

I text her, 'Be safe and catch the bad guy.' I wanted to say that I loved her but didn't feel comfortable saying it yet.

"So now what?" I curled up at the head of the bed.

"We can either go downstairs and watch a movie or watch one up here... We could do laundry. All the new clothes need to be washed." I rested my chin on my hand.

"Laundry can wait. Let's watch a movie up here." Alex nodded in agreement and then got off the bed. She put a movie in and then sat back down. I didn't really care what we were watching I was tired and would probably fall asleep. Alex held her arm up and I curled up next to her resting my head on her stomach. She pulled the covers up over us… The movie had been playing for about 10 minutes when I rolled over and looked up at Alex.

"Liv and I made up…" I knew Alex probably already knew but I wanted to tell her. "She said she wanted to help and I told her that I didn't care but that I didn't need another detective… That I needed a mom. She agreed and she explained that she just wanted the bad guys to be put away soo bad… That me to get justice… I also told her that the detectives were bringing up charges again Jonathan and that… I was scared that if he gets acquitted that I'll have to live with him. Liv said that she would protect me forever and always…" Alex brushed some stray hair off my forehead and stared down at me.

"How do you feel about all that?" I looked away and thought about it for a minute before rolling back over.

"I like that she wants to be there for me… I knew where she was coming from before but it was hard to let her in… I didn't want to get hurt again. As for her protecting me, it lets me know that she loves me and that I can count on her… I also told her that I wanted to put my past behind me and start over with her… and you." Alex looked down at me and had tears in her eyes.

"I will always be here for you Garrett… No matter what happens between Liv and I, I will always be around to help you. I promise." I smiled at Alex and wiped away a tear that fell.

"Forever and always?" Alex nodded. I rolled back over and went back to watching the movie… I felt better than I had in a long time. Most of it had to do with the fact that I felt safe with Liv and Alex.

As I had imagined I fell asleep towards the beginning of the movie. I was sleeping soundly until I felt someone moving my feet. I bit back the urge to scream but immediately sat up and looked at who was touching me. My heart was pounding in my chest and my breathing was fast. Liv held up a finger to her lips and signaled for me to follow her. Once we were to where we wouldn't wake Alex up she began talking.

"Sorry if I scared you. I didn't mean too." Liv and I were standing in the closet. Liv was changing into pajamas

"Its okay. Its a reflex..." Liv had finished changing and pulled me into a hug.

"You shouldn't have a reflex to that." I shrugged my shoulders and pulled away.

"I always had one before anyway. I hate having my feet touched. It's just gotten worse over the years. Anyway, I'm gonna go to bed. I will see you in the morning." I went to leave the closet and Liv grabbed my hand.

"Stay with Alex. I'm gonna grab something to eat and watch TV." I nodded my head. I went back in and climbed back onto the bed. Liv covered me up and kissed my forehead. Alex and I both moved closer to eachother. She wrapped her arm around me. I flipped so my back was to her. Liv left and I could hear her walk downstairs before I fell asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Two Weeks Later 

It had been almost four weeks since I had left California and come to live with Liv. It was my birthday and then Liv, Alex and I were flying to California for court with Jonathan. The detectives were still trying to prove that Jonathan had killed my mom but they were bringing him up on child molestation charges and child abuse charges. The detectives were hoping to find more evidence once they got back to LA.

For the time being though I was sitting on the counter watching Alex out icing on my birthday cake. I was excited about my birthday cake. I hadn't had one since my fourth birthday but didn't want to tell Liv or Alex that. Liv was out shopping for party supplies. She had invited the whole crew from the station over. Elliot was bringing his family. I was excited to meet them since his twins were a year older than me.

Alex put the finishing touches on my cake and then she stuck it into the fridge. She walked back over and leaned on the counter next to me.

"So birthday girl, we still have three hours until your party and probably two until Olivia comes back. What would you like to do?" I shrugged my shoulders and stared down at the feet. I'd been running around barefooted all day and it drove Liv crazy.

"I don't know. What does someone usually do on their birthday?" Alex looked at me shocked. I looked back at her and gave her a 'what' look.

"Well is there anything special you want to do now that your 17?" I shook my head and hopped off the counter.

"Not really… I do think I might take a nap before the party. I'm kind of tired." Alex nodded and followed me into the living room. I sat down on the couch and kicked my feet up on to the coffee table. Alex sat down next to me and I leaned on her. I'd become really close with Alex in the past three weeks. She was like a second mom to me. I loved Liv more but I had also come to love Alex even though I hadn't said it to either of them. After Liv and I made up she began fulfilling her role as 'mom'. While I would still go to Alex for some things I had become more dependent on Liv and letting her take care of me.

Alex turned on the TV and began flipping through the channels. I eventually got tired of watching so I got up and went up to 'my' room. I didn't actually claim the room as mine yet but once Liv and I hopefully came to live with Alex full time then it would be mine. I lay down on the bed and grabbed my IPod from off the nightstand. I put my head phones in and turned it on. 'Slipped Away' by Avril Lavigne came on. This some made me think of my mom.

Na na, na na na, na na  
I miss you, miss you so bad  
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad  
I hope you can hear me  
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same  
Oh

Na na na na na na na

I didn't get around to kiss you  
Goodbye on the hand  
I wish that I could see you again  
I know that I can't

Oh  
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same  
Oh

I had my wake up  
Won't you wake up  
I keep asking why  
And I can't take it  
It wasn't fake  
It happened, you passed by

Now you are gone, now you are gone  
There you go, there you go  
Somewhere I can't bring you back  
Now you are gone, now you are gone  
There you go, there you go,  
Somewhere you're not coming back

The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same no..  
The day you slipped away  
Was the day that I found it won't be the same oh...

Na na, na na na, na na  
I miss you.

I hadn't talked about my mom's death to anyone. Liv had been setting up meetings with Huang for me but we didn't really talk about anything in particular. I missed my mom; even though she was horrible and let some horrible people into our life. Part of me loved her but part of me hated her or at least wanted to hate her. I couldn't bring myself to hate her. Even though those were the last words I had ever said to her; which I felt awful for. I was going to make it right that night but things didn't work out that way.

I stared at the ceiling and wiped away the few tears that had fallen. I rolled over onto my side so I was facing away from the door and closed my eyes. I fell into a light sleep.

I woke up when I felt someone touch my shoulder. I jumped and pulled my headphones out of my ears. Alex was standing behind me holding up her hands. I wiped my face and turned my IPod off.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to scare you." I nodded my head and tucked some hair behind my ear.

"It's okay… what's up?" Alex sat down on the edge of the bed.

"They squad caught a case. Liv is trying to get back here but doesn't know if she'll manage… I thought we could take your cake and presents down to the squad room and celebrate there." I nodded my head and stared down at the bed. I was a little disappointed about not having everyone over but who was I to ask for anything more than I already was given.

"Okay, let me grab my shoes and jacket." Alex nodded and left the room. I grabbed a pair of socks out of my dresser and pulled my shoes on. I grabbed the NYPD hoodie that Liv had given me and put it on. I headed downstairs and Alex was standing by the door with the cake in hand. A bag of presents were sitting by her feet. I grabbed the bag and we left the apartment. Alex drove the long way to the precinct. When we got there I grabbed the bag of presents and Alex grabbed the cake. We took the elevator up to the fifth floor. The doors to the elevator opened and Alex told me to wait a minute. I waited just outside the elevator and watched as Alex went inside balancing the presents' bag and the cake. I leaned against the wall and watched the door waiting for a signal that meant I could come in.

Alex finally poked her head out the door and signaled for me to come in. I pushed away from the wall and headed towards the double doors. As I walked up the doors were both pushed open and everyone jumped out yelling, "Surprise!"

I jumped but was instantly pulled into a hug by Liv. I hugged her back and was passed around to everyone else. Elliot and I did our secret handshake. Fin and I did what was known as a hand hug. Munch and I shook hands before doing a secret handshake. Cragen hugged me and Alex hugged me. I finally ended back up with Liv again and being pulled into another hug only this time I couldn't breathe because she was hugging me so tight. I pushed away from her and then went and sat down at her desk. The squad room was decorated in orange and purple balloons and streamers. There was a 'Happy Birthday Garrett!' sign hanging from the top of the stairs. Liv came over and sat down on her desk. She leaned forward so she was inches away from me.

"You look sad; what's wrong?" I looked at Liv and shook my head.

"I'm in shock. I've never had a party before. I mean since we moved." I looked back out over the squad room. In one corner was a table with food on it. There was a bunch of chairs set up on one side and a big open area on the other. There was a karaoke machine set up on a make shift stage.

It took me a few minutes to notice but once I did everything clicked. Not only was it a surprise party but also a Halloween party. Everyone was dressed in costume. Munch and Fin were dressed in black suits and had on black sunglasses; I assumed they were dressed up as characters from Men in Black. Elliot was dressed in his marine outfit. Alex was dressed as a fairy. Cragen was dressed as a keystone cop. Liv was dressed as Cat Woman.

"Here… go up to the locker rooms and put this on." I nodded my head and took the bag Liv was handing me. I went upstairs and came back down five minutes later dressed as Wonder Girl. Or at least I assumed I was Wonder Girl. The costume looked like Wonder Woman but it had a WG on the front. Liv walked over to me and helped me adjust the cape that went on the back of the costume. I pulled the mask down and walked over to Alex.

"Looking good, Wonder Girl!" I nodded my head and stood next to her. More people had arrived at the party and most of them I didn't know.

"Who are all these people?" I was standing behind Alex and Liv who followed me over. Hiding behind them from the people that were all standing around in costume. There were WAY too many people there for my comfort zone.

"Friends, family and a couple of cops from downstairs." I nodded my head but stayed behind both of them. I was comfortable where I was standing until Elliot came over and grabbed my hand. He pulled me out into the middle of the room and I tried my hardest to fight and get away.

"Ladies and Gentleman; children of all ages. I'd like to introduce to you the birthday girl; Garrett aka Wonder Girl." I looked at Liv with a pleading look to save me. She walked over and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I felt better then but still just wanted to hide again behind her and Alex.

"Happy Birthday, Wonder Girl!" Came shouts from random parts of the room. I really didn't like the costume at all. I wasn't comfortable standing there with so little clothes on. I was going to ask Liv if I could change back but was interrupted by Cragen.

Cragen grabbed my arm and whisked me into the open area on the floor. Music began playing and I just stared at him. He began pulling me around the floor. It took a few minutes but I was finally able to pull away from him. I took off up the stairs and into the cribs… This was all too much. I couldn't handle all the attention.

I sat on one of the beds and ripped of the mask throwing it across the room. I buried my face in my hands. The door opened a few seconds later. It was open for awhile and I could tell that more than one person had entered. After another few seconds the bed sagged on both sides around me. I knew Alex and Liv were sitting on either side of me. I leaned over onto Liv.

"I'm sorry; you guys planned this amazing party and I'm ruining it." I buried my head in Liv's shoulder and she put her arm around me.

"You didn't ruin anything… We didn't even think that it would make you uncomfortable. We're both the ones that are sorry… If you want we can ask everyone to leave and we can go home and do presents and cake just the three of us." I shook my head and looked up.

"No! I love the party… I just didn't think it would be soo many people… Would it be okay if I put my other clothes back on? This costume is great but I'm not very comfortable in it." Liv nodded her head and kissed my forehead.

"That's fine… Alex and I will wait outside for you. We want you to be comfortable." I nodded my head and gave her and Alex a hug. I grabbed the bag of clothes that Alex had left and quickly changed. I walked back out in my street clothes. Liv and Alex were sitting on top of the stairs. They looked up when I walked out. Liv smiled at me and walked over. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and led me over to the top of the stairs.

"Ladies, gentlemen, children of all ages and Elliot! We'd once again like to welcome the birthday girl to the party! We're going to set up a line for people who have never met my beautiful Goddaughter. If you haven't met her yet please step to this side of the room. If you've already met her go stand on the dance floor!" Everyone moved as Liv told them. Liv led me down the stairs with Alex close behind me. I took both their hands and we stood in front of the crowd of people.

"Everyone needs to form a single file line and then move over to the dance floor once you've met her." Everyone did as they were told and people began to walk past introducing themselves. Elliot was standing with a group of kids; I assumed they were his family. They all walked up and he introduced them all. I said hi to all of them.

Once I was introduced to everyone Elliot's oldest daughter Maureen dragged me over to her other siblings. They were standing by the karaoke machine. I looked at all of them and shook my head. There was no way I was getting up in front of all those people and singing karaoke.

"Aww come on, it'll be fun!" I glared at Kathleen before going to walk away. Alex walked over and stopped me from walking away.

"How do you like your party so far?" I shrugged my shoulders and looked up at Alex.

"It's a little overwhelming… Elliot's kids want to start karaoke." I walked around Alex and went over to Liv's desk. She was sitting on the edge watching what was going on around her. I walked over and leaned against her. She wrapped her arms around my neck and rested her head on my shoulder.

"You doing okay, kid?" I nodded and leaned back into her.

"Yea, a little overwhelmed but okay. Elliot's kids are trying to get me to do karaoke." Liv laughed and pushed me forward so she could stand behind me. She pushed me towards the karaoke stage and signaled for the DJ to cut the music.

"Ladies and gentlemen! We're gonna be starting karaoke. Please sign up with Maureen if you would like to sing… Let her know what song." Liv sat down in a chair in front and pulled me down onto her lap.

"You should sing… I've heard your voice you're good," Alex said. Alex sat down next to Liv. I shook my head and stared down at my feet.

"Okay, our first singer is the birthday girl…" I looked up and shook my head. "Come on up Garrett!" I shook my head again but Liv pushed me forward. I tripped up onto the stage and stared out at the people in front of me. Maureen handed me the mike and asked me what song I was gonna sing.

"I'm not singing…" Maureen looked at me and everyone was looking at me waiting for me to pick. "Broken by Lindsey Haun," I turned so my back was to the crowd and took a deep breath. I didn't know if I could do this but I was gonna have to try.

The music began and I kept my back to the crowd. I didn't need to look at the karaoke screen I already knew the words. I began singing the song. It was quiet and I could hear people lean forward in their chairs by the creak they made.

"Wake up to a sunny day, not a cloud up in the sky and then it starts to rain…

My defenses hit the ground  
And they shatter all around  
So open and exposed  
But I found strenghth in the struggle  
Face to face with my troubles

When you're broken  
In a Million little pieces  
And your tryin'  
But you can't hold on any more  
Every tear falls down for a reason  
Don't you stop believin' in your self  
When you're broken

Little girl don't be so blue  
I know what you're going through  
Don't let it beat you up  
Hittin' walls and gettin' scars  
Only makes you who you are  
Only makes you who you are  
No matter how much your heart is aching  
[ From: . ]  
There is beauty in the breaking  
Yeah

When you're broken  
In a Million little pieces  
And your tryin'  
But you can't hold on any more  
Every tear falls down for a reason  
Don't you stop believin' in your self  
When you're broken

Better days are gonna find you once again  
Every piece will find it's place  
When you're broken  
When you're broken

When you're broken  
In a Million little pieces  
And your tryin'  
But you can't hold on any more  
Every tear falls down for a reason  
Don't you stop believin' in yourself  
When you're broken, oh When you're broken, when you're broken, when you're broken…" I finished the song and handed the mike back to Maureen. I walked off the stage and through the crowd. I walked out the doors. I couldn't believe I had just sung that song. It was meant to be a dedicated to Olivia but I was afraid to say anything about it. Luckily for me Liv was very intuitive. I turned around after wiping my eyes and ran into Liv. She pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head.

"That was amazing! I didn't know you could sing like that." I shrugged my shoulders and stared at the ground.

"Yea, just something I've always been able to do… Uh, I'm kinda tired. Would it be okay if I just grabbed a cab home?" Liv lifted my chin to make me look at her.

"Garrett, you can tell me if something's wrong. You just blew everyone in there away… I don't think it's fair if you don't at least cheer on Alex and maybe even me." I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"Can I get some earplugs?" Liv smacked my shoulder and hugged me again.

"Come on back in… The party shouldn't last too much longer." I nodded my head and let Liv lead me back in. A round of applause broke back out as we walked in. Liv sat down and I sat down on top of her. Munch was belting out some song. Fin and Elliot looked like they were going to pee themselves if they laughed anymore. I leaned back against Liv. I rested my head on her shoulder and put most of my weight on my feet. Alex laughed when she looked over at us. It was kind of hard to sit on her lap like a little kid when there was only a three inch height difference between us.

Some other people got up to sing and then it was Alex's turn. She had picked 'Because You Loved Me' by Celine Dion. I moved from Liv's lap into her chair. After Alex was halfway through the song I looked over at Liv and she had tears in her eyes. Alex finished singing and Liv stood up to hug her. Then it was Liv's turn. Alex took her seat and once the music for Liv's song started playing everyone fake covered their ears.

I eventually moved my hands when I recognized the song. I looked at Liv and she smiled back at me. She was gonna sing, 'I'll Be' by Reba McEntire. I loved this song when I was little and it had become our song until my mom and I moved.

Although Liv wasn't the greatest singer she managed to get through the song. Looking around a few people had tears in their eyes. Liv stepped off the stage and stood in front of me. I wrapped my arms around her waist. After hearing her sing that song gave me more faith in Liv. It let me know that she really was going to be there for me.

"Okay folks, I do believe it is time for cake!" Liv pulled me up and wiped a few stray tears from my eyes with her thumb. She led me over to a table that Fin and Cragen had moved. Alex carried over the small cake and then Elliot came out of Cragen's office with a bigger cake. Liv lit the candles and someone hit the lights. Everyone sang, 'Happy Birthday'.

"Make a wish!" I closed my eyes and blew out the candles. My wish was that everything went okay in California and I was able to stay where I was. Liv and Alex served the cake. I went and sat at Liv's desk with my cake. Elliot came over and sat down on the desk with his cake.

"Hey, great party huh? Liv and Alex are pretty great." I nodded my head and I licked purple icing off my fork.

"Yea, I don't deserve it but yea. Liv and Alex are great." Elliot looked at me and set his cake down.

"Why don't you deserve this party?" I shook my head and looked down at my cake.

"Don't worry about it. I'm gonna go get a drink." I set my cake down on Liv's desk and got up. I walked over to the drink table and got some punch. Elliot was watching me; I could feel his eyes on my back. He was trying to figure why I thought what I did.

I walked back over but then walked away again because Elliot wouldn't stop staring at me. I wasn't really into eating the cake anyway. I went over and stood with Munch and Fin. After everyone had cake Liv went over and sat with Elliot. I couldn't hear what they were talking about but I assumed it was about what I said to Elliot.

Alex came over and pulled me away from Munch and Fin. She led me to the present's table. I looked at all the gifts. I was floored this many people had bought gifts for me.

"So the question is; do you want to open these here? Or take them home and we can send out thank-you notes?" I looked at all the gifts again. It would take awhile to open all of them and I was ready to go.

"Let's do it at your place… I'm tired and this will take awhile." Alex nodded and led me to the stage. She and I both stepped up on the stage. She grabbed the mike so everyone could hear her.

"Ladies, gentlemen, children of all ages and Elliot; Garrett would like to thank you all for coming." Alex handed me the mike and I looked at her and then Liv.

"Uhm, thank you all for coming. I've never had a party like this and it really means a lot to me. Let's give a rou…" I stopped talking and stared at the woman that had just stepped through the double doors. The mike dropped from my hand and I was having a hard time breathing. Jonathon's sister, Carol and just walked in and she looked pissed. I'd only met her once when she'd babysat for me. I'd learned that day not to trust anyone Jonathon recommends. I ended up with a broken arm and she was also the one that stitched up the scar on my back. She was a RN… Alex stepped towards me and followed my line of sight to her.

"Wow Garrett is that really you? You don't look like the same brat my brother used to have to take care of… How could you accuse him of those things? He worked his ass off to take care of you and that 'slut' you called mommy… I told him to get rid of you before you grew up. I told him he should have killed you when he had the chance. If I wouldn't have sown up that wound infection would have set in and you'd be dead!" Carole screamed. Alex had wrapped a protective arm around me but it wasn't helping. I was beginning to become dead weight because I was about to pass out.

Everyone stayed where they were. No one knew what Carol wanted. I could tell that everyone was prepared to go for their guns if need be. Carol was about to take a step towards us when Alex gasped. I passed out and Alex knelt down next to me.

Liv's POV

Garrett has just passed out on the stage. She looked terrified of this woman. Alex is trying to get her to wake up. Elliot and I both go for our guns. This woman steps closer to the stage and laughs.

"Stupid bitch could never stand up in a fight… At least now she's not a moving target." This woman reaches into her pocket and pulled out a gun. No one knew how she had gotten into the building with it on her but someone had to stop her.

I look between and terrified Alex and this woman. She's not going to kill either Alex or Garrett and get away with it.

Alex's POV

Garrett is beginning to wake up. I have my back to the woman who has come in but quickly turn myself so I'm behind Garrett. I let Garrett lean on me as she tries to sit up. Her breathing is irregular. I'm about to help Garrett stand when I saw the silver gun come out of this woman's pocket.

"Gun!" Someone yells. Every officer in the place has their guns drawn. Garrett is trying to hide her head in my shoulder. She's trying to get away but too weak to move. I know I should move in front of her but I'm frozen by fear. My mind begins to flash back to when I was shot and placed in WPP.

This woman steps forward and is knocked over by an officer. She falls. She quickly collects herself and fires off one shot. It is up in the air though and pops a balloon. Garrett whimpers and tries harder to get away. I hold onto her as the cop handcuffs the woman and drags her out.

Once she's out of the way Liv runs over and kneels down next to us. Garrett immediately switches from me to Liv. Liv just holds her and whispers calming words. Garrett is in tears. I reach over and rub her back.

Garrett's POV

I couldn't believe Carol was there. I was paralyzed with fear. If I couldn't face Carol how would I face Jonathon? I was curled up in Liv's arms. Carol tried to shoot at Alex and I on stage but missed. She's being drug off by some officers. Cragen, Munch, Fin and Elliot are making sure everyone else is okay. They are also ushering people out of the squad room. Once everyone is gone and has been sent home I pull away from Liv. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose in the tissue Alex had handed me. They both have a hand on my back.

"Who was that?" Elliot asked as he walked over and squatted down in front of me.

"Carol; she's Jonathon's sister… She's as bad as her brother." I looked at Liv and could see tears in her eyes and a look of fear on her face. I collapsed into her arms again. We sat there like that forever until I finally cried myself to sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Okay, sorry if this chapter isn't the greatest. I've lost sight of where i want this story to go but I'm hoping i can find it again. Secondly, I've decided to scrap the scar that Garrett has on her back. There will be a scar just not that one. Hope you like the chapter! I don't own anything Law and Order: SVU**

California! Here we come!

I woke up the next morning in my bed. Somehow I had gotten home and changed into my pajamas. My mind flashed back to the night before and I was frozen in fear again. Luckily, the fear passed quickly. I got up and grabbed some clean clothes. We were leaving for California tonight. I'd already packed all my stuff. The detectives wanted me to bring everything in case I ended up with Jonathon. Not that Liv would let that happen.

I showered and changed. I was still really tired and it was still really early. I walked downstairs and Alex and Liv were sitting at the dining room table. I walked over and sat down next to Liv. I laid my head on the table and Liv ran her fingers through my hair.

"Hey, what are you doing up so early? I didn't expect to see you until at least noon." I shrugged my shoulders but kept my head on the table.

"Couldn't sleep." Alex got up and headed towards the kitchen.

"Are you hungry? I can make some eggs or something." I sat up and shook my head. I tried to stifle a yawn but ended up losing that battle.

"Why don't you go lay back down? Come on, I'll tuck you in." Liv stood up and held out her hand for me to take it. I shook my head again and got up from the table.

"I can't sleep." I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. I didn't want to tell Liv and Alex that I couldn't sleep because every time I closed my eyes I flashed back to when Carol used to babysit and the horrible things she did.

I sat on the couch and stared at the TV. I had no desire to watch it. All I really wanted was to go back to sleep. Last night had taken a lot out of me and I knew the next week would take its toll. I rested my head on the arm of the couch and fought hard to keep my eyes open. It was another battle I was losing. Liv came and sat down next to me. She rested her arm on the back of the couch. At first I resisted leaning on her but gave in when I knew I was going to lose my battle with sleep.

I fell into a restless sleep. I would nod off for a few seconds before waking back up. Liv moved to the end of the couch after awhile. She patted her leg and I laid down resting my head on her. She ran her fingers through my hair and flipped on the TV. She flipped on the movie that was in the DVD player. 'Wizard of Oz' came on. I stared at the TV for a few seconds before my eye lids became heavy and I fell asleep.

Liv's POV

Garrett got up really early this morning. I'm afraid she's still having nightmares. She won't talk about them anymore and doesn't scream out at night as much. She's been seeing Dr. Huang but I think once we get back I'm gonna see if Elizabeth Olivet can see her.

I've just gotten Garrett to go back to sleep. She looks so tired and worried all the time. I'm afraid this trial is gonna be too much for her. After last night I'm more worried than anything. People are coming after her even though she's moved 3000 miles. I knew her life had been hard but it seems like her mom was into some pretty heavy stuff and now Garrett is getting the backlash.

Alex is upstairs packing. We leave for California at 6. I need to finish packing but I don't want to leave Garrett downstairs by herself. I contemplate waking her up so we can move upstairs but then I don't know if she'll be able to go back to sleep… I'm gonna have to try it.

"Garrett sweetie, wake up." Garrett moves but doesn't wake up. "Come on cutie, get up!" Garrett opens her eyes and looks up at me. "Let's go upstairs. You can sleep in Alex's bed." Garrett just stares at me but then sits up when I move. I stand up and hold out my hand she takes it and I pull her off the couch. She follows me upstairs and into Alex's room. Alex is in the closet. Garrett walks over and lays down on the bed. I grab a blanket off Alex's hope chest and cover her up. She is laying upside down on the bed. She used to sleep like that in her toddler bed. She grabbed my pillow and wrapped both arms around it. She watched Alex in the closet fighting with random articles of clothing but soon after her eyes closed and she was asleep. I walked over to the closet and leaned in the doorway.

"How's she doing?" Alex asked as she threw another shirt on the floor.

"Sleeping; I'm worried the nightmares still happening. I'm hoping if we keep her close she'll be able to sleep better." Alex nodded her head and pulled a dress off the hanger.

"I decided while I was packing I'd also go through my clothes. I own way too many." I nodded my head but then ducked as a shoe came in my direction.

"I need to run over to the apartment to get some stuff. Are you gonna be okay here?" Alex looked at me like I was crazy.

"Liv, I can take care of Garrett… She's asleep and besides I've seen what the nightmares do to her." I nodded my head and left the closet. I walked over to the bed and kissed Garrett on the cheek before fixing her blanket. I left but planned on returning quickly.

Alex's POV

I stepped out of the closet to watch Liv leave. She's way overly worried about Garrett. Garrett looks peaceful sleeping. I walked back into the closet and started going through clothes again. I was about halfway done when I heard Garrett whimper. I stepped out of the room and Garrett was tossing and turning. I walked over and sat down behind Garrett.

"Garrett, wake up. It's just a dream. Wake up!" Garrett jumped and sat up. She just stared at me before getting off the bed and walking out of the room. I followed her downstairs and to the door. She was pulling on her gym shoes. She went to open the door but I grabbed her arm.

"I have to go… I can't do this. I've gotta get out of here… I can't face him. He'll have me killed." Garrett tried to go for the door again but I kept a hold of her arm. I was praying Liv got back soon.

"No one is going to kill you Garrett. Carol is in jail and Jonathon can't hurt you in the courtroom. You're gonna be fine." Garrett shook her head and pulled away again.

"He has connections. Carol is not even close to being the scariest person he knows. He could have me killed without even being anywhere near me. He knows way more people than you realize." I pulled Garrett to me and wrapped my arms around her.

"Liv and I are not going to let anyone hurt you or kill you. Do you understand? As long as you're with us you are safe." Garrett shook her head and pushed away from me. I just held on. I slowly backed us away from the door and over to the couch.

"You don't get it! If I testify he's going to have me shot at again… I'm not gonna get shot again over my past! It hurt WAY too much to deal with that again." I pulled back so I could look at her. Garrett had tears in her eyes and she genuinely looked scared.

"Garrett, I know how bad it hurts, okay? I was shot once but sweetheart I promise you that nothing bad will happen to you." Garrett looked shocked for a minute. I nodded my head and she relaxed a little.

"Where did you get shot?" I pulled down the neck of the sweater I was wearing to reveal the scar on my shoulder.

"I was shot in a drive-by… I got in way over my head with a case. I was put in witness protection for 6 years before I came back here… I know how scary it is to have someone out there after you. But everyone around you loves you and won't let anything happen to you." Garrett nodded her head. Then she snapped her head to look at the door as it opened. Liv came walking in with two suitcases.

"Sorry, it took me longer than I thought it would… What's wrong?" Liv looked up and saw the panic in Garrett's eyes. She was instantly by her side. Garrett stared down at the couch. She didn't want Liv to worry more than she was.

"Nothing, we were just talking… I'm gonna go make sure I have everything packed." Garrett went to get up but I grabbed her hand.

"She needs to know." Liv looked at me confused and then at Garrett.

"Need to know what?" Liv asked. She stood up next to Garrett. Garrett shook her head and went to walk away.

"You don't tell her I will." Garrett turned around and stared at me. She looked shocked and hurt, like I had just broken a promise.

"I'm scared… I don't want to testify because I'm afraid Jonathon will put a hit out on me… Again." Garrett whispered the last part but Liv heard it. She gasped and went to stand next to Garrett.

"What do you mean again?" Garrett sat down in the chair and ran her hands over her face.

"When I was 15, I witnessed something I wasn't supposed to… Anyway, long story short Jonathon put a hit out on me. He hired Carol to shoot me while I was sleeping. It was set up to be like a robbery. Only Carol had really bad aim and hit me in the hip… The neighbors heard the shot and called the cops." Liv sat down next to Garrett. She had her head hung.

"What did the police do?" Garrett laughed and shook her head.

"Jonathon told them that it was a freak accident… Carol had her concealed carry and Jonathon claimed that Carol walked into the wrong room after a night of drinking and when she was taking her gun out of her purse to put into the safe it fired and hit me… I spent two weeks in the hospital… When I was released…" Garrett looked at Liv. I knew she hadn't told her the story about the scar but I didn't know where in the timeline that happened.

"When you were released what?" Garrett shook her head. That was all we were going to get out of her.

"Nothing, when I was released Jonathon bought me a new laptop to make up for the unfortunate mistake." Liv shook her head. I could tell she was mad. Madder than mad she was pissed.

"So this bastard had you shot at and molested you." Liv said. Garrett stared down at the ground but nodded her head. Liv was beyond angry now.

"Liv calm down… We are going to get Garrett justice. We are also going to keep her safe from whatever Jonathon can throw at us." Garrett looked at Liv and her face softened. She sat down with Garrett and held her close.

"We will take care of you… Nothing bad will happen… Now come on, someone still had presents to open." Garrett nodded and gave Liv a half smile. She smiled over at me and Liv kissed her forehead.

Liv got up and grabbed the presents. She sat back down with Garrett and handed her the first present. Garrett opened it and pulled out a 'Yankees' shirt. Liv and I both knew it was from Elliot.

"Elliot?" Garrett asked. The kid was smarter than she looked. Liv nodded and laughed.

"He's getting you ready for baseball season." Garrett shook her head and laid the shirt on the coffee table. Liv handed her the next gift and she opened it. It was from Cragen, he had gotten her an NYPD shirt and hoodie. The hoodie had Liv's badge number on the sleeve.

"That's from Cragen… He wants you to feel like part of the team." Garrett nodded her head and set the clothes on the table.

"Here this is from me," Liv said. She handed Garrett a small box. Garrett opened it and pulled out a bracelet. It had her name on the charm.

"Thanks, I love it." Garrett gave Liv a hug and then Liv handed her another box. This time the box was rectangle shaped. Garrett opened the box and pulled out a necklace. It was a miniaturized badge. It matched Liv's badge perfectly only the necklace was in silver. Garrett held up the badge and stared at it closely.

"It has the same numbers as on the hoodie. Is that like the department number or what?" Liv laughed and got up she ran upstairs and grabbed her badge before coming back down. She handed the badge to Garrett and she compared the two.

"It's my badge number… This way I'll always be with you." Garrett flipped over the necklace and engraved on the back was, 'Now We'll Always Be Together, Love Liv'. Garret had tears in her eyes. She turned and gave Liv a hug again.

"Thanks, its perfect… Now I'll always be protected." Liv hugged Garrett again and began opening the rest of the gifts. I'd gotten Garrett a necklace too. It was a 'Fearless' necklace from a foundation that raised awareness for people who were raped. Liv had one so I thought it was appropriate for Garrett.

Once all the gifts were open Garrett began setting them into groups. She'd gotten a fair amount of cash, some clothes, movies and CDs, and the jewelry that Liv and I had gotten her. We also got her some more clothes.

"You guys really spent too much on me. I don't deser…" Liv held up her hand and covered Garrett's mouth.

"Yes, you do. I don't know anyone who deserves all this more… Besides Alex and I wouldn't have had it any other way." Liv kissed Garrett's forehead and then stood up and began collecting wrapping paper. I knew it bothered Liv that Garrett didn't think she was important. I also knew that Liv felt like she had let Garrett down when she let her mom take her.

Garrett began picking up all her stuff and carrying it upstairs. I grabbed an armload and helped. Garrett dropped everything on the bed and then sat down. She still looked overly stressed. She was holding the necklace Liv had given her in her hand. She ran her finger over the badge and then laid it down before picking up the one I had gotten her. She took it off the chain and put it on the same chain as the badge.

"What'cha doing?" Garrett looked up and tried to smile.

"Now I will always be protected by both of you." I nodded my head and walked over to sit next to her.

"You are correct. Garrett, there is no one more important in Liv's life than you… I'm not even that important. Honestly, there is no one more important in my life… I know we've only known each other for a few weeks but you feel like a daughter to me and I will protect you to the best of my ability." Garrett hugged me and then pulled back.

"Confession time… I kinda think of you as a mom. I mean my mom will always be my mom but Liv and you have been more of a mom to me than she ever was." I nodded my head and looked over at the door when I heard someone clear their throat.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." Garrett stood up and walked over to Liv. She grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the bed. Garrett sat down and pulled Liv down on the other side of her.

"Look… I know I've brought a shit load of craziness into your lives since I've arrived… I wanted to thank both of you for being there for me… I mean you could have just turned me away when I showed up. I probably would have done that but that's just me… Anyway, I just really wanted to let you both know that I appreciate what you've done for me… Even though I don't always think I deserve it." Garrett was staring down afraid to make eye contact with either of us.

"First off, language… But we are happy and willing to help you in any way we can. We love you soo much… And part of loving you is taking care of what needs done. If that means we spend the next six months in California fighting for you than we'll be there no question… Garrett, this is what love is. It's being there for each other no matter what…" Liv said. Garrett nodded.

"I know… I love you both too." Liv looked at me with tears in her eyes. She'd never told either of us that she loved us. We both hugged her and she laughed.

"Okay, daughter can't breathe!" We let go of her and then I grabbed the necklace she dropped and slipped it around her neck.

"Perfect!" Liv said. Garrett stood up and left the room. Liv and I just sat there before going after her. Garrett was standing in front of the bathroom mirror staring at the necklace.

"It's awesome," Garrett said once we walked up. Liv and I both nodded and then walked away. We still had an hour before Elliot was picking us up. Garrett changed her clothes into something more comfortable for the plane ride. We'd land in California at 5:30 but it would feel later than that for us.

Garrett's POV

I was pulling my shoes back on after changing into my new Yankees shirt and some yoga pants. I wasn't looking forward to this flight and wanted to be as comfortable as possible. Alex walked up and leaned on the door frame.

"All packed?" I nodded my head as I pulled on my other shoe.

"Yea, it's all over there." Alex looked over and sat the three bags that I had packed.

"You're as bad as Liv. What all are you taking?" I shrugged my shoulders and grabbed my new hoodie off my bed.

"The detectives said to bring everything… In case, you know, we lose and I have to stay." I stared down at my feet. I hated to think that way but knew I had think about all possibilities.

"We're not gonna lose… If they said to then I guess its fine… Here I'll help you carry them." I nodded my head and grabbed two of the bags. I carried them downstairs and set them by Liv's by the door. Alex set my other bag down as Liv came down with Alex's bags. She had three also.

"I'm as bad as Liv?" Alex shrugged and smiled.

"And me, didn't I say that?" I shook my head and laughed.

"Okay, everything is ready… El is on his way." Alex and I nodded and went to sit down on the couch. Liv sat down in the chair and we were each lost in our own little world. We all jumped when 20 minutes later the doorbell rang. Liv got up to answer it. She pulled it open and Elliot and Fin walked in.

"Hey guys, no offense but why are you here?" Liv asked pointed to Fin.

"Thought you'd need some help." Liv shrugged and pointed to the bags. Alex and I went to stand next to her. We all filed out of the house and into Elliot's SUV. The ride to the airport was silent. We arrived at the airport and everyone grabbed something. We went inside and I could feel my heart rate begin to rise. I really hated flying. Liv grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. We had all our bags checked except my book bag. I gave Elliot and Fin a hug as we left them at the gate.

"Thanks for helping." Elliot nodded and messed up my hair. Fin gave me a high five and they both walked away. I took Liv's hand again and we headed to the plane.

We got on the plane and waited for everyone else to board. I hated this. Alex took my hand to try and calm me down but it wasn't helping. Once everyone had boarded the plane and the plane was running that's when I really started to panic. I wrapped my arm around Liv's and buried my head behind her arm. She laughed and ran her fingers through my hair.

I used to sit like this when I scared of something. The plane took off and my arm tightened around Liv's. I stayed where I was until we had been in the air for a few minutes. I didn't let go of Liv or Alex though. I rested my head on Liv's shoulder and tried to not think about the fact that we were flying. Alex and Liv chatted about everyday things while I slept on Liv's shoulder. Sleeping seemed like the best way to make the time pass. Liv shook her shoulder to wake me up when we were about to land.

"We're about to land," Liv said. I didn't move from where I was and kept my eyes closed. Once the plane was down I sat up and unwrapped my arm from around Liv's. I let go of Alex's hand and ran my fingers through my hair. It was a mess, I eventually through it up into a pony tail because it was annoying me. I looked out the window at the LAX airport. I'd been here once or twice before. It still looked the same. We sat there until people started to get off the plane.

I followed Alex as she exited the plane with Liv following behind me. I reached back for Liv's hand and she took it. She squeezed my hand and we walked over to baggage claim. We were standing by baggage claim when I saw the detective and Dr. Huang walk up. I was confused as to why Dr. Huang was here.

"Glad to see you all made it here in one piece." Liv glared at the Detective Peters. He didn't seem to notice. Once we'd grabbed our bags we followed them to three waiting cars. We loaded up everything and climbed into the car that was in the middle. The ride to the hotel was filled with silence.

Once we arrived the detectives went and checked us in and made sure the rooms were secure before we could come up. We were taking to our suite. It had a living room and kitchenette. Then off of that was a bedroom with two queen beds and a bathroom. It was nice and would work for next week. Our stuff was piled in the living room and then the detectives gave us our keys. Liv took my key and put it with hers.

"You won't need this. There isn't going to be a time when you're alone." I glared at her and sat down on the couch. Alex sat down next to me. A silence fell over the room until I couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm hungry," I said. Even though it was almost 10 o'clock our time.

"Well we can order room service… What do you want?" Alex asked. She picked up the room service menu and handed it to me.

"Ice cream." Liv rolled her eyes and sat down on the other side of me.

"How about something healthy?" I glared at her again but let her pick something.

"Ice cream is dairy and if I get a strawberry sundae then I get fruit and dairy." Liv looked at me and rolled her eyes. I wasn't going to win this one.

"How about pizza?" Alex recommended.

"Yea, that's soo much healthier than ice cream," Liv said. Alex and I both glared at Liv. She tried not to look at us.

"How about roast chicken?" Liv glanced at us as we both shook our heads.

"I'd rather starve," I said. I got up off the couch and grabbed my bags taking them into the other room. I dropped them by the bed farthest from the door and lay down. Alex came in after and sat on the other bed.

"Liv's ordering the pizza and ice cream." I looked at Alex and began laughing. I held out my hand and she gave me a high five.

Liv walked into the room with her bags. She began unpacking, Alex and I just watched. Once Liv was done she went to answer the door. Alex and I followed. Liv set the pizza on the counter and opened it. I took a deep breath and sighed. It smelled amazing. Liv grabbed some pizza and put it on a plate before handing me the plate.

"Thanks," I said. I took the plate and went and sat on the couch. Alex got her pizza and sat in a chair caddy corner to me. Liv sat down next to me with no pizza. I took a bite and thought I was gonna die and go to heaven. I hadn't been eating much lately but this pizza was amazing.

"Why aren't you eating?" Alex asked Liv.

"Not hungry… I talked to the detectives, they want to get your formal statement tomorrow and then they want you to speak with the ADA on the case." I nodded my head and took another bite of pizza.

"Are you going to be with me when I give my statement?" I asked Liv.

"Only if you want me to. If not then I'm sure Alex will go with you." I shook my head at the last part. I wanted Liv there. I needed her there.

"No offense to Alex but I want you there." Liv nodded and smiled. I had a feeling she already knew that. She stole a piece of my pizza and ate it. I just glared at her but she took the plate and got more.

"I thought you weren't hungry." Liv sat back down and handed me the plate. She'd thrown four pieces on there.

"It smells good… Sue me." I took a piece and ate it before handing Liv the plate. I got up and went over to grab the pop we'd bought before making it to the hotel.

"No pop! It's too late," Alex said. I looked back at Alex and glared. Liv nodded in agreement and I turned my glare to her.

"Seriously? You're going to tag team me." Liv and Alex both nodded. I sighed and walked back over to the couch pop in hand.

"Thanks," Liv said. She took the pop and opened it. She took a drink before handing it to Alex. I groaned and then got up and walked into the bedroom.

"You guys are a pain! I'm going to bed." Alex and Liv were laughing.

"We love you too!" Liv and Alex said. I shut the bedroom door and went to get pajamas out. I pulled 'Wivia' off the top of my bag and tossed her on the bed. I lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. I wasn't really tired but needed some alone time. That was the downside to being trapped in a hotel room. There wasn't a lot of room to wander. I rolled over on my side so my back was to the door and shut my eyes. I tossed and turned for awhile before I got tired of laying there. I got up and opened the bedroom door. Alex and Liv were sitting cuddled together on the couch watching TV. I didn't want to interrupt so I went to reclose the door. Liv caught me standing there though.

"I thought you went to bed." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Not really tired… Uhm I was thinking about going for a walk but now that I've been caught. I guess I'll go back to bed." I turned to go back into the bedroom. I walked back in and lay back down on the bed. I was going insane. All I wanted to do was get out of the hotel. I didn't want to be there. My anxiety was kicking in big time and I knew if I didn't get it under control there was going to be a major meltdown.

I lay on the bed for as long as I could before I stood up and began pacing the floor. I paced back and forth trying to relieve some of the tension. My hands were beginning to shake I was soo tense. I opened and closed my hands a few times trying to get the shaking to stop but it wasn't working. If I was this tense just from being in the hotel I was scared about how tense I was going to be about being in the courtroom.

Liv came walking into the room to check on me and I was sitting on the floor in the corner almost visibly shaking. I looked up at her but then turned away when just looking at her upset me. Liv kneeled down in front of me and reached out to touch my hand.

"Garrett, why are you on the floor?" I shook my head and pushed myself up to stand but my legs were so shaky I couldn't. I fell back down and pulled my legs up to my chest. My hands were shaking pretty bad by this point. Normally by now my mom would have given me something to calm me down, whether it was legal or not. Liv sat down next to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

"I have to leave…" I went to stand but couldn't get up. Liv pulled me back down.

"You can't go anywhere… It's getting dark out." I pulled away from Liv again only to be pulled back down by her.

"I can't do this… I need to get out of here. Please, let me leave!" I pulled away once more and Liv let me stand up. I had to hold myself up by holding onto the wall.

"Garrett, sit down and talk to me." I turned and looked at her and almost collapsed. Liv stood up and helped stabilize me. I pulled away as far as I could before collapsing into her. Liv held onto me and then pulled me over so she could sit down on the bed.

"What if we lose?" I finally whispered out.

"That's not going to happen… If you tell the truth than everything will be fine." Liv ran her fingers through my hair. She stood back up and then sat back down at the top of the bed. She patted the bed for me to sit next to her. I climbed up and sat down next to her.

"How can you be so sure?" Liv just stared at the wall.

"I'm not… I just hope and pray everything goes well. No matter what happens I will always be there for you… I've seen a lot of these cases tried and people have gone to jail for a lot less than Jonathan did. We will win, we have to." I nodded my head and curled up into her side. She scooted so she was laying down a little bit. I laid my head on her shoulder.

"Do you remember when you were little and you'd just found out that you were going to move?" I nodded my head and wiggled around until I was comfortable.

"Yea, you told me that I had to be brave… You also told me that no matter what happened you'd always be thinking about me." Liv nodded her head.

"That's true… You've got to be brave now too. I'm not worried at all about you doing this… I believe that you are strong and competent. Just remember Alex and I will be there for you and to help you." I didn't respond. I'd fallen asleep.


	17. Chapter 17

Indictment!

We'd been in California for about a week and today was the indictment hearing for Jonathon. I was nervous but Liv and Alex kept assuring me that everything would go well. I was standing in the living room area of the hotel waiting for Liv to finish getting ready. Alex was putting her shoes on. I rubbed my hands on my black pants again. They were sweating like crazy. My whole body was achy and I was really hot. I could tell that I was probably running a fever from stress. My stomach also hurt really bad another sign that I was overly stressed. I was so nervous and every little sound made me jump. We'd moved hotel rooms twice because the detectives had received tips that someone was after me. That set Liv and Alex on high alert and just made me panic more.

I was pacing around the floor when Alex came out of the bedroom. I looked over at her and gave her a weak smile. She walked over and gave me a hug. I rested my head on her shoulder but then jumped when someone knocked on the door. Liv came around the corner and pushed me into the bedroom. She partially shut the doors. It had been like this since Liv found out that someone was after me. I could tell this was taking a toll on her and I felt guilty about that but there was no talking her out of all the precaution that she was taking.

She peered through the peep hole with her gun tucked safely behind her back. She and Alex seemed to relax when they realized it was the lead member of the protective detail that had been hired. I stepped out of the bedroom when Liv signaled for me to.

"Are you all ready to go?" Liv shook her head and went back into the bedroom. She came out a few minutes later fully dressed. She handed me my jacket and grabbed her purse off the counter in the kitchenette.

"Let's go," Liv said. Liv wrapped her arm around my waist and led me out of the hotel room. We followed the protective detail out to waiting cars. I was kept in the middle of everyone with Liv and Alex on either side of me and someone on either side of them. It didn't make me feel any safer. We all got into the car that was being followed by two identical cars. Everyone in the other cars looked like the three of us. We were told to keep as low as we could so no one could directly see our faces.

We drove to the courthouse in a backwards way and once we arrived we were ushered in through a back door. I didn't like all the secrecy but I guess if I was safe then that's all that mattered… I was ready for this all to be over and hoped that once we got an indictment then they could plead Jonathan out and we'd be done. But who knows what he's gonna try to pull.

We were led into an empty room and told to wait. Alex sat down in one of the chairs but Liv and I just paced around the room. We'd been in there for awhile when Alex started laughing. Liv and I both looked at her confused.

"Is there something you find funny about this Alex?" Liv asked. She didn't seem to think that Alex laughing was all that humorous.

"Yea, if I didn't know any better I swear you two were mother and daughter. The way you're pacing around here. You looked exactly alike." Liv and I looked at each other before both of us found a chair to sit in.

I stared down at the ground waiting to be called into testify. Liv was staring at the ceiling and Alex was just staring off into space. Finally, the door opened and we all three looked over.

"They're ready for you." I nodded my head and stood up. Liv stood up and gave me a hug. Then Alex followed suit. I followed the ADA out into the hallway. The protective detail surrounded us. Liv and Alex just waited in the room.

We entered a large room full of people. I sat down in a chair and waited to be sworn in. Facing the grand jury seemed scary but not as scary as when Jonathon would be in the room. Once I was sworn in the ADA began questioning me.

"Could you please state your name?" I looked at her before going back to staring at the ground.

"Garrett Olivia Phillips." The ADA walked in front of me but I just stared at her shoes.

"Can you please state your relationship to the defendant?" I nodded my head and looked up.

"He's my stepfather." The ADA nodded her head and paced in front of me again.

"How long as he been your stepfather?" I counted backwards quickly in my head.

"My mom and him had gotten married when I was 14. They've been married for three years." The ADA nodded again and stopped pacing to stare at me.

"Can you tell us why we're here today?" I took a deep breath and stared out at all the people before looking back at the ADA.

"Because my stepfather molested me when I was 14… He also tried to sell me on the streets…" The ADA nodded and stepped closer to me.

"Did your stepfather only molest you once?" I shook my head and looked down.

"No, it was multiple times after the first encounter. It lasted about a year until he was arrested for possession with intent to sell." I looked up as the ADA crossed my path again.

"So you are telling us that you were repeatedly molested by your step father. He tried to sell you for prostitution and he's drug dealer…" I nodded my head and looked around the room. Most people had horrified looks on their faces. "Is that all your stepfather did?" I shook my head.

"He hired his sister to shoot me. Luckily for me she was a bad shot." The ADA nodded and came to stand next to me.

"That's all?" I nodded my head.

"Yes, that's all." I stared at the ground waiting for something to happen.

"You are free to step down." I nodded my head and left the stand. I walked out of the court room and was led back to the room Liv and Alex were in by my protective detail. Once inside Liv pulled me into a hug. I collapsed in her arms and started crying. I didn't know why but I felt some relief after telling my story.

Liv, Alex and I sat in that room until the ADA came in and told us that the grand jury had made an indictment. Liv and Alex cheered while I just sat back. I was still nervous about the trial but knew that if one jury believed me why wouldn't another. We were all led out of the courthouse by the protective detail. We were taken to back to the hotel. Once inside the hotel room I changed out of my nice clothes into something I was more comfortable in.

"Good going kid, you did it!" Liv gave me a high five.

"Thanks, now I just have to wait for the trial… I'm ready for all this to be over." Alex and Liv both nodded in agreement. I sat down on the couch and Liv handed me a slice of leftover pizza. Pizza was the meal of the week. We seemed to be eating it morning, noon and night. I was hoping tonight we could try something different.

Liv sat down next to me. I stared at the pizza before setting it on the end table. I wasn't hungry. My stomach was in knots. It got like that when I was overly stressed and food normally didn't settle well. Liv watched me before reaching up and feeling my forehead. I must have looked warm to her.

"Garrett, you're burning up." I nodded my head but stared at the coffee table.

"It happens when I get overly stressed. It's really not a big deal." Liv shook her head and looked up at Alex who had just walked out of the bedroom.

"Call downstairs and see if they have a thermometer… This is a big deal, what if you're sick?" I shook my head and leaned back into the couch.

"It's because I'm stressed, I promise you." Liv felt my forehead again and then stood up. She grabbed my hands and pulled me up. She pulled me into the bedroom and led me over to the bed. After pulling down the covers she signaled for me to sit down. I rolled my eyes and sat down.

"Lie down, take off your sweatshirt… You'll get to hot." I did as I was told. I pulled off my sweatshirt and tossed it onto her and Alex's bed. Liv covered me up but left the big quilt off. Alex came in and walked over to the bed. She felt my forehead and then pulled Liv to the side.

"They don't have a thermometer here but one of the agents from the detail is going to buy one. Do you think we should make her take a cold shower?" Liv looked over at me and I shook my head.

"I don't need cooled down. A couple of aspirin and some sleep will do the trick." Liv nodded and went into the living room. She came back with some aspirin. She handed me a bottle of water and I took the aspirin. Liv sat down on her bed. I looked over at her and then at Alex who was sitting on the end of my bed.

"Are you guys just gonna sit here the whole time?" Liv and Alex both nodded their heads. I rolled my eyes and rolled over so my back was to Liv. I stretched out my legs and kicked Alex. She moved over to the other bed and sat down on her side. I laid there and stared at the wall. I wasn't tired. It was only 2'oclock. I knew Liv wasn't going to let me get up either. Until my fever was gone I was going to be stuck where I was. I sighed when I heard someone knock on the door and then both Liv and Alex get up and leave the room.

I rolled over and watched Liv and Alex through the door. They were trying to figure out the thermometer. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. The person who bought it had gotten a nice expensive one. Liv and Alex were trying to put in the batteries. Once they got the thermometer up and running Liv came into the room with it. I sat up and held out my hand. Liv shook her head and stuck the thing in my ear.

"Why isn't it working?" Liv asked. I rolled my eyes and held out my hand again.

"You need the plastic things that cover the tip." Alex carried the box in and I dumped the contents. I pulled out the tip covers and stuck one on. I then stuck the thermometer in my ear and pushed the button. Five seconds later I knew what my temp was. I handed the thing to Liv and lay back down.

"103.7! Maybe a cold bath isn't a bad idea." I leaned up on my elbow and shook my head.

"I'm not sitting in a hotel bathtub. I'll be fine… Don't worry." I rolled over so my back was to Liv and Alex. I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep. Liv and Alex walked into the living room and were talking about how I wouldn't let them help me. I finally rolled over and sat up. I got off the bed and walked into the living room.

"I just want to help her and she pushes me away," Liv said. I stepped out of the room and crossed my arms.

"You want to help? Then just come sit with me… You're not going to make the fever go away. The aspirin will do its job… I want your help but there's not very much you can do right now." Liv stood up and walked over. She wrapped her arm around my waist and led me back into the bedroom. She sat down on the bed and scooted so she was sitting in the middle. I lay down next to her and rested my head on her leg. She pulled the covers up.

Alex came in and sat on the other bed. She handed Liv the remote control and Liv flipped the TV on then turned it down to make sure it was on low. She flips through the channels before settling on HBO. We all sat there quietly watching the movie. I looked up and Liv and she was staring down at me. I smiled at her and she felt my forehead. This was it. I had finally gotten to where I wanted to be. I was with Liv and Alex. I was safe with both of them and knew that no matter what happened they both loved me.

I went back to watching the movie. I eventually closed my eyes and tried to sleep. I slept for awhile until I felt the bed shift. I woke up and reached for Liv's hand. She was getting up. I looked up at her to see what she was doing.

"I'll be right back… I'm gonna get more aspirin and a cold rag for your head." I nodded and let go of her hand. I watched the movie that was on. When Liv came back she handed me the aspirin. I sat up a little so I could drink some water. Then Liv sat back down and I lay my head on her leg again. Liv laid the washcloth on my forehead and then rubbed my back. Liv and I watched the movie in silence until we both fell asleep.


	18. Chapter 18

Trial!

Two days after Jonathan was indicted the trial began. I was taken back into the same room as before and waited. Liv was waiting with me and Alex was in the court room to watch the proceedings. I was the first witness being called by the prosecution. Liv and I sat quietly; each thinking about our own thing. Liv was really nervous for me and had thought about not letting me testify. I was still running a fever even though we would try to keep it down with aspirin.

I looked up when I heard the door open. A court appointed officer stepped in and motioned for us to follow. Liv and I both stood up and followed him down the hall to the court room. We walked into the court room and Liv took my hand and squeezed it before sitting down with Alex. Alex smiled up at me as I followed the court officer up to the witness box. I stood there and waited to be sworn in.

"Raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Please state your name for the court." I put my right hand up.

"Yes; Garrett Phillips." I sat down and looked over at Jonathon. I was trying not to be intimidated by him but it was hard. The ADA walked up and blocked my line of sight from Jonathon. I turned and locked eyes with Liv. She smiled at and then took Alex's hand.

"Miss Phillips, can you please state for the court why we are here today?" I took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"I was molested." The ADA nodded her head and then turned and walked so she wasn't blocking Jonathon anymore.

"Can you please tell me if the person who molested you is in the court room today?" I nodded my head and looked over at Jonathon.

"Yea, it was him. Jonathon." The ADA nodded again.

"Please note that the witness has identified Jonathon Patrick." I chanced a look at Jonathon but he was just glaring at me. He was giving me a look that he used to give me when he wanted to intimidate me.

"Miss Phillips, Are you related to Mr. Patrick?" The ADA stepped into my line of sight again and blocked Jonathon.

"Yea, he's my stepfather." I took a few deep breaths. I was beginning to get really light headed. My fever was going back up and I was sweating bullets. The ADA stepped closer to the box.

"Are you okay?" I nodded my head and swallowed.

"Keep going, I'll be fine." The ADA stepped back and paced in front of me.

"So, you've stated for the court that the defendant is your stepfather and he molested you. Did he do anything else?" I nodded my head.

"He also tried to use me as a prostitute… He thought I could bring in good money." The ADA nodded and then walked over and leaned on the prosecution table.

"Miss Phillips, is it true that you have a scar on your wrist in the shape of a heart? Can you tell us how you received that scar and why?" I looked up at the ADA. I hadn't mentioned my scar. I wondered where she had gotten this information from.

"Yes, I…uhm, tried to runaway when I was 15. I had no distinguishing marks on me and with newly dyed hair I was able to make it all the way to Ohio before being caught by the police… When my mom and Jonathon got me back; Jonathon decided that I needed a distinguishing mark so it wouldn't take so long next time to catch me. He also thought it might deter me from running away again. He heated up a cookie cutter and then taped my hand down to the table. He had a friend of his hold me down and then pushed the cookie cutter into my wrist. It sunk down and made a heart shaped cut. Then he had his sister stitch the wound up and wrap it… He told me to tell everyone I tried to kill myself. If I didn't he threatened to hurt me more." I stared down at my scar and ran my finger around it. Liv and Alex both looked shocked. They knew nothing about it.

"Garrett, did Mr. Patrick do anything else to you?" I nodded my head and some people gasped. They couldn't believe I had endured more pain from this man.

"He hired his sister to shoot me when I witnessed something I wasn't supposed to… She had bad aim however and hit my hip. It didn't cause any serious damage." The ADA nodded and then sat down.

"No further questions your honor." The defense attorney stood up and walked over.

"Garrett, were the police called when you claim Jonathon hired his sister to shoot you." I nodded my head.

"Yes, but…" The defense attorney held up his hand. He walked over to the defense table and picked up a piece of paper.

"Will you please read the highlighted parts in this police report?" I nodded my head and stared at the paper. The words were swimming on the page. I couldn't concentrate on any of them. I sat there silently while I tried to read the police report to myself before reading it out loud but it was just making my head hurt.

"Please, read it out loud, Miss Phillips," The Judge said. I nodded my head and tried again.

"I can't… The words are all over the place." The Judge leaned forward but I just looked out at Liv.

"Judge, can we please have a ten minute recess? The witness needs a break." The ADA asked. The Judge nodded and banged her gavel. I covered my ears and shut my eyes. It sounded like the Judge had just shot off a gun.

"Ten minute recess, you may step down Miss Phillips." I didn't move. I just kept my eyes closed and covered my ears. The ADA came over and reached out for my hand. I opened my eyes enough to see her before shutting then again. I grasped onto the railing around the witness box and leaned forward. I rested my head on the railing and then felt someone's hand on my back. 

"You okay, Squirrel?" Liv asked. I shook my head and moved so my head was on her stomach.

"My head and stomach hurt, real bad… I don't wanna do this anymore." Liv hugged me and rubbed my back.

"You're doing great Garrett… You just have to answer a few more questions and then you're done." I shook my head and tried to bury my face in Liv's stomach.

"Come on; let's go get some water and aspirin." Liv helped me stand and wrapped her arm around my waist to stabilize me. We stepped out of the witness box and walked across the court room.

"Ha! Stupid bitch is just a big a wimp as she used to be! What's the matter Garrett? Feeling guilty for telling lies about me! Why don't you tell them how you tried to seduce me when I married your mom? How you were always wearing slutty clothes so I'd want you? How you hated your mother because I preferred sleeping with her instead of you? Is that why you killed her?" Jonathon yelled. I spun around and looked in his direction. My ears rang and my head began pounding harder.

"I didn't kill her! YOU did! I never wanted to sleep with you… you were the one who always wanted to get into my pants. I loved my mom! I'm not lying… You're a sick bastard and I hope they kill you in prison! Did you kill her because she preferred bigger men than you? She replaced you because you were just too small for her. What was it she said, 'if only Jonathon could be a real man and not a small boy? Maybe he'd be better in bed.' She only married you because you could hook her up with drugs… She thought you were a giant loser with small parts!" Jonathon jumped across the table at me and Liv pulled me back so he missed me. She pushed me behind her into Alex. I stepped in front of her again but Jonathon was being held back by his lawyer.

"You little bitch! I should have killed you myself when I got the chance… You were next! If you just would have stayed put instead of run then everything would have been fine! You'd be with your mom in hell!" I jumped at Jonathon but Liv caught me she held me up so my feet weren't touching the ground. The court officers were now standing between us. I tried to fight against Liv but she kept a strong hold on me. The court officers were handcuffing Jonathon. Liv finally put me down. I tried to go after Jonathon again but she was quick and managed to grab me again. The Judge had just walked back in and witnessed the end of our fight.

"What is going on here?" Everyone looked at the Judge. I still struggled to get away from Liv and kill Jonathon.

"The defendant provoked the witness. He called her a liar and said she would try and seduce him. He also said she killed her own mother… Then he admitted to killing her mom," The ADA said.

"I'm putting the witness and defendant in contempt. Make sure they're in separate cells. Counselors, in my office." The Judge began to walk out when Huang spoke up.

"Your honor, it's of my opinion that the witness has just had a psychotic break… I feel it would be in her best interest to be taken to the hospital where they can treat her." The Judge nodded her head. A court officer grabbed me and led us all out of the court room. An ambulance was waiting outside. I struggled against the court officer to get away but he was stronger than me. They got me onto the gurney and tied me down. I fought with all my might to get away but couldn't. I was loaded into the ambulance. Liv and Alex were standing on the sidewalk with Huang.

"Liv! Help me! Please, Livia!" Liv looked up and then walked over and talked to the court officer. I couldn't understand what they were saying. I was beginning to see white spots in front of my eyes. I closed my eyes and then felt someone take my hand. I tried to open my eyes but couldn't.

"Its okay, Squirrel. I'm right here sweet girl… Stop fighting. It's going to be okay." Liv ran her hand over my forehead and hair. I was burning up by this point. I was also beginning to lose consciousness. I could feel myself go out and then come back in. I squeezed Liv's hand before my hand went limp.

Liv's POV

Garrett's hand just went limp. I looked up at the paramedics and the immediately went to work on getting her to wake up. She's been running a fever for the past couple of days but claimed it was due to stress. Huang said she had a psychotic break. I kept hold of her hand and watched as the paramedics worked on her. I can't lose her. She's my everything. I let her go once and horrible things happened to her. I won't let that happen again. I can't… I'll die if she does.

"Come on, Squirrel you gotta wake up." I kissed the back of her hand. She's not moving. The paramedics check her breathing and its fine but she won't move or wake up.

We pull up to the hospital and doctors are waiting. I climb out of the ambulance and just stand to the side as they unload her. Alex comes running up with Huang. Huang follows the doctors and Alex wraps her arms around me. I lean back into her before walking into the hospital. We both know we are going to have to wait in the waiting room. Alex goes and takes a seat and I go up to the desk to get the forms I'll need to fill out.

"Hi, my Goddaughter Garrett Phillips was just brought in." The nurse looked up at me and then handed me some forms.

"Fill these out please. Someone will be out to talk with you shortly. You can wait in the waiting room." I nodded and took the forms. I walked over to Alex and sat down. I stared down at the forms and filled them out. Once the forms were fully filled out I turned them in and then sat back down. I stared down at my hands. Alex reached over and took one of my hands. She ran her thumb along the back of my hand and I looked over at her. She looked just as upset as I did. I leaned my head on her shoulder and she kissed the top of my head.

"Garrett's a fighter. She's going to be just fine." I nodded my head. I believed that in my heart but my head just kept replaying how pail and fragile she looked lying on that gurney. Last time I saw her looking like that was when she had appendicitis and I had to rush her to the hospital.

"I know she is… My heart is telling me she'll be fine but my head is telling me that I made a mistake in letting her testify. I should have put a stop to it when she began getting sick." Alex leaned her head against mine and we sat in silence each of us thinking about our own thing.

The doors to the emergency room opened and a doctor stepped out. Alex and I both looked up and sat up a little. The doctor walked over and stood in front of us.

"Family of Garrett Phillips?" We both nodded our heads and stood up.

"I'm her Godmother, Olivia Benson. This is my girlfriend, Alex Cabot." The doctor shook both our hands and then signaled for us both to sit down.

"I'm Dr. Fletcher; I was the doctor to examine Garrett…" I nodded my head and reached for Alex's hand.

"Is she okay?" The doctor looked down at the chart in his hands and then back at us.

"She's in a coma… Has Garrett been under any pressure lately?" Alex and I both nodded before I answered.

"Her mother died a little over a month ago… She came to live with me but then was told she had to live with her stepfather. Right now she's a witness in a case against him… Let's just say he isn't a very nice person." The doctor nodded and then stood up.

"That would explain things… Garrett's body had lapsed into unconsciousness because it's being overworked. It's basically shut down until it knows it's going to be okay… Until it can heal itself she'll stay that way… We've moved her to a room and you can go see her." I nodded my head and stood up to shake the doctor's hand. Alex followed suit. The doctor led us back to Garrett's room. We both stepped inside the room and just stood by the door. I slowly walked over to the far side of the bed and just stared at her.

I reached over and ran my fingers through Garrett's hair. She looked like she was sleeping. I knew it was more serious than that but wished that was all that was wrong. She still felt really warm. I sat down in a chair that was next to the bed. Alex stayed by the door quietly watching what was going on around her. I took hold of Garrett's hand and stared at it. I was willing her to squeeze my hand or to even move a finger.

"I'm going to go run and get some food. Do you want anything?" I shook my head but knew Alex would bring me something back anyway. She walked over and kissed Garrett on the forehead before leaving. I leaned forward and raised her hand up to my mouth. I kissed her hand and just stared at her. I said a silent prayer. I knew that talking to coma patients some doctor's believed that they could hear you. It was worth a shot.

"Garrett, you gotta wake up… I'm sorry I didn't see the warning signs any sooner. I should have put a stop to you testifying when you got sick after the indictment. I made a mistake that you're paying for… I'm gonna make things right. I'm gonna talk to the ADA and tell her you won't be finishing your testimony. I'm gonna make up for the time I've missed with you… Make things right in your life. I love you, Squirrel. I can't lose you. Please, wake up." I felt kind of ridiculous begging Garrett to get better. I was out of options though. I needed her to get better. If she didn't I wouldn't be able to go on with my life.

Alex came back into the room 20 minutes later with two sandwiches and two cups of tea. I let go of Garrett's hand and laid it next to her on the bed. She set them down on a tray and then handed me a cup of tea. I smiled at her and took a sip. She sat down in a chair that was next to mine. She handed me a sandwich and I took it. I unwrapped it and took a bite. I wasn't hungry but didn't think starving myself would make Garrett any better. Alex and I both ate in silence. Then just sat there. Silence was comfortable for the both of us. We just enjoyed being in each other's presence.

I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew Alex was shaking my shoulder. The doctor had come in to check on Garrett and give us a progress report.

"How's she doing?" The doctor looked down at his chart and sighed.

"I'm not gonna lie, Miss Benson. Garrett's fever has me worried. We've tried everything to keep it down but it just goes back up. Her blood pressure is high too. Does Garrett have any illnesses we weren't informed of?" I shook my head and tried to think if I had missed mentioning anything.

"Not that I know of… She just came to live with me though. I haven't seen her in 12 years." The doctor nodded and sighed again.

"I don't understand her fever. Was she feeling ill before today?" I took Garrett's hand and rubbed the back of it.

"She's been running a fever for a few days. Aspirin would make it go down but not away. She said it's because she's stressed… I knew she was under a lot of pressure with the trial pending and stuff. I didn't think…" I looked at Alex and she was staring at Garrett.

"I didn't think much of it either, Liv… We are both to blame here." The doctor shook his head.

"No one is to blame… Yes I would have brought her in sooner but if she wasn't showing other signs of problems and the aspirin was helping. Then how were you to know? I'm gonna try giving her something stronger for the fever… Hopefully we will get her to wake up soon." I nodded my head and the doctor left. I looked at Alex and she was helplessly staring at Garrett. She had tears in her eyes and looked like she was ready to cry.

"We promised to protect her and now look." I nodded my head. I felt the same way. We had let her down.

"She's gonna be okay, Alex. I know she will." I gave Alex a one armed hug. I refused to let go of Garrett's hand. The only time I wasn't going to be holding it was when I went to check out the apartment Garrett and her mom lived in. The detectives hadn't cleared it and I wanted to check it out before they did. Maybe their CSU missed something.

"I know… I just feel like we let her down." I looked at Alex and wiped a stray tear away.

Alex and I went back to being silent. Eventually I looked over at the window and noticed the sun was going down. The doctor came walking back in and seemed shocked to see us. I sat up a little and ran my hand over my face.

"I thought you two would have gone home by now. Garrett probably won't wake up for a few days… You should really get some rest." I nodded my head and looked over at Alex. She was awkwardly sleeping in her chair. I nudged her and she jumped.

"Is she awake?" I shook my head as Alex wiped her eyes.

"Doctor says she won't wake up for a few days… Why don't you go back to the hotel and get some sleep? I'm gonna stay here and wait." Alex shook her head.

"I'm not going unless you are… I don't want Garrett to wake up and think I don't care." The doctor laughed. I glared at him and then turned back to Alex.

"Fine, we'll both go… You'll call if she wakes up right?" The doctor nodded and left. I stood up and kissed Garrett's forehead.

"We'll be back, Squirrel. I love you." I walked to the door and held it open. Alex kissed Garrett's forehead and followed me. We left and went back to the hotel.

Alex and I both lay down on the bed. I stared up at the ceiling. Alex had her head resting on my shoulder. She was snoring softly. She'd fallen asleep as soon as we had gotten back. I couldn't sleep too many 'what ifs' were running through my mind. What if I had stopped Miranda from taking Garrett? What if I'd taken Garrett to the hospital earlier? What if Garrett hadn't come back to me? Would she still be alive? I looked over at Alex and kissed her forehead before easing her head off my arm. I placed it on her pillow and got up. I couldn't stay here I had to be with Garrett. I wrote Alex a quick note and left. I headed back to the hospital and walked into Garrett's room. I stood in the doorway. I just watched her. It seemed like she was sleeping. I looked down at 'Wivia' in my hand and then walked in. I know Garrett wouldn't know that she was there but I still wanted her to have her. I tucked 'Wivia' in and then sat down in the chair I had been in before. I grabbed Garrett's hand and rested my chin on the edge of the bed.

I said another silent prayer before closing my eyes. I woke back up when I felt someone hit me in the shoulder. I jumped up and saw a mad Alex standing there. I smile sheepishly at her before sitting back down.

"You left me a note! Why didn't you wake me back up? I would have come back with you!" I let go of Garrett's hand and walked around the bed. I pulled her into a hug but she pushed me away. I held her at arm's length and with my hands on her upper arms.

"I'm sorry. You looked so peaceful and I just couldn't sleep without her being around… Your right I should have woken you." Alex nodded her head and then stepped forward. She gave me a hug and rested her chin on my shoulder.

"I love her too, Liv… I know she's yours but I love her like a daughter and I want to be around when she needs me." I pushed Alex back and smiled at her.

"I want you around for all those moments too… I know you love her and she's ours not just mine. I don't think Garrett would allow that." Alex and I sat back down in the chairs. I reached over for Alex's hand and she linked her fingers with mine.

Alex and I sat in silence. I watched the heart monitor Garrett was hooked up to. I watched as her heart rhythmically beat. The beat was steady. I couldn't understand why she couldn't wake up. Her heart was beating fine and she was breathing on her own but she was still in a coma. A nurse came in and checked her vitals. Alex left eventually go get something to eat. Dr. Huang stopped in while Alex was gone.

"Hey Liv, how's she doing?" I shrugged my shoulders and leaned forward to hold her hand.

"She's in a coma… Everything physically is okay but she won't wake up… I think we pushed her to hard." Dr. Huang sat down in the chair Alex had vacated.

"She was overly stressed… I wanted to talk about you though. How are you feeling?" I looked at him and then back at Garrett.

"My Goddaughter is in the hospital in a coma. She's only been with me for four weeks and ended up in the hospital… Her mother was my best friend and I didn't know she was a drug addict. She let men abuse her daughter and left her to a man who tried to have her killed… I'm not doing too well." I rubbed the back of Garrett's hand.

"Maybe this will make you feel better. I was given this by the detectives; CSU turned it up." Huang handed me a folded piece of paper. I laid Garrett's hand back on the bed and opened the paper. It was a letter from Miranda to me. I slowly read the letter. It said:

Dear Olivia,

My little girl is in trouble and it's all my fault. I've let my life get mixed up with hers and people are now trying to harm her. She's a teenager but can't take care of herself. I have to get her far away from here. That's why I sent her to you. You can protect her. Keep her safe!

I let my life fall apart once you moved out. I got involved in some bad things and with some very bad people. I let drugs rule my life and the men that could get them for me take over. They've hurt my little girl really bad. Done awful things to her and made her do awful things to them. I'm trying to sober up and be a better parent but Garrett has seen too much for some bad peoples liking. They'll kill her if they can. That's why I want her with you. Please Olivia, please take care of my baby. _Our_ baby!

Miranda

PS: If anything ever happens to me. Take Garrett. Don't turn your back on her like I have. Let her be with you and loved by you. I want you to be Garrett's legal guardian.

July 15, 2008

"What good does this do me? She must have had her will done after. Because she left Garrett to Jonathon." Huang shook his head and laughed. I really didn't see what he was finding so funny.

"CSU found this after the will came out. They compared Miranda's signatures against each other and against the one on her license. The will signature didn't match the others. The will was fraudulent. It was a ploy by Jonathon to get Garrett back to California… One of his former employees rolled over on him. They are charging Jonathon with murder and attempted murder." I stared at Huang in shock. Huang told me the whole story of what happened. If what he was saying was correct then Garrett was mine legally. I'd just have to go through the process of adopting her.

"So you mean?" Huang nodded and I hugged him. Alex came walking back in and almost dropped the food she was carrying.

"Cheating on me with Huang?" Alex asked. I half glared at her but couldn't get the smile off my face.

"No, he's just given me the best news ever." I handed Alex the letter and after she set everything down she took it and read it. She looked up at me confused.

"But the will…" I held up her hand to stop her.

"Is fraudulent. Jonathon made one up. The lawyer that wrote it up rolled over on him. Told the detectives the whole story about how Jonathon was going to kill Garrett once she came back because she had witnessed too much… Garrett is officially mine." Alex smiled at me and then I stood up to hug her. I looked back down at Garrett. Now all Garrett had to do was wake up. I really hoped she could hear us because now she had nothing to be stressed about. The trial was over because Jonathon cut a deal. He was getting life in prison without parole.

Huang left Alex and me to celebrate. We both ate our food and then I leaned forward and kissed Garrett's cheek. I ran my fingers through her hair and held her hand with my other one.

"Garrett, I have good news… Jonathon is going to jail for a long time. You aren't going to have to finish testifying against him… You can wake up now. There is nothing to stress you out anymore. Please wake up. Come on, baby, wake up… Alex and I are right here. We both love you and want you to wake up. Please baby! Wake up!" Alex stood up and laid her hand on my shoulder. I was all but shaking Garrett to get her to wake up. I stood up and Alex rubbed circles on my back.

I sat down in the chair and leaned forward. I took Garrett's hand. I hadn't really paid attention before but she did have a heart shaped scar on her wrist. I ran my thumb around the scar. I just held Garrett's hand and watched her for any movement at all. Any sign that she was going to be okay.

The doctor came in and checked her fever. It had gone down drastically and I hoped when it was gone she'd wake up. Alex and I both slept at the hospital that night. They brought in a bed for one of us. Alex took the bed. I sat in between the two and made a bed out of the chairs.

I had a hold of Garrett's hand the whole night. I woke up the next morning to something moving in my hand. I sat up and groggily looked at my hand. My back was killing me from spending two nights in hospital chairs. I felt something moved again and looked up at Garrett. She was still out. I stood up when I felt something move in my hand a third time.

"Come on, Garrett. Wake up for me, baby. Please, I need you. I love you more than you know… I need you with me, I'll die without you." Garrett's hand squeezed mine I looked down at it before looking back at her face. Her eyes slowly fluttered open. I smiled and squeezed her hand back. I wanted to jump for joy.

"Garrett, baby, it's Liv." Garrett gave me a duh look. She was definitely with it.

"Duh! I know who you are. What happened to me? Where am I?" I laughed as tears poured down my cheeks. I kissed her forehead and for the first time in so many days she felt cool to the touch.

"You're in the hospital… You lapsed into a coma due to stress. You're gonna be okay now though." She just stared at me. She turned her head and looked over at Alex.

"You both slept here? Why?" I rolled my eyes and just stared at her. My heart was doing back flips and if I wasn't so sore I probably would have really done one. My girl was back. She was okay.

"Because we love you… We were so worried about you. Hold on a second. I know there is someone else here that wants to see you." I walked over and shook Alex's shoulder. She just moaned and rolled onto her side. She curled up into a ball and kept on sleeping.

"I got this. Yo Cabot! Wake up!" Alex jumped and sat up in bed. She kicked her legs over the side of the bed and rubbed her eyes.

"There's someone awake that wants to see you." Alex jumped off the bed and ran over to Garrett's. Once she saw Garrett awake tears ran down her face. She hugged Garrett and Garrett looked slightly scared for a second before hugging her back. While Alex and Garrett were hugging I ran out to the nurses' station to let them know that Garrett was awake. I ran back as quick as I could though. I didn't want to be away from Garrett any more than I had to.

I walked back into the room followed by a few nurses and the doctor. Alex and I stepped away while they examined Garrett. Once she was given a clean bill of health they left. Garrett would have to spend one more night in the hospital to make 100 percent sure she was okay.

Alex and I moved the chairs to either side of her and each of us took a hand.

"So what happened? I remember being asked to read something and my vision being blurry… Next thing I know I'm here." Alex and I looked at each other. Both of us worried that she doesn't remember what happened. I made a mental note to ask the doctor later.

"You began feeling really bad so the ADA called for a recess. You didn't get up from the witness stand so I walked over and helped you… We were leaving when Jonathon yelled at you. You and he got into a yelling match. He tried to attack you but I pushed you back. The court officers got involved and the Judge came back in. She placed you both into contempt but Huang said you needed to be in the hospital… We loaded up onto a gurney and had to tie you down. You screamed for me to help you and I rode along with you… You went unconscious. You've been asleep for four days." Garrett had tears in her eyes. I wiped them away with my thumb.

"I messed up the trial?" I shook my head.

"No! It was just postponed… It's over now though. Some new information came to light. Jonathon made up the will a forged your mother's signature… CSU found this note. It makes me your legal guardian." Garrett held up her hand and I handed her the note. She quickly read it before nodding her head.

"I knew about this… My mom gave it to me when I was 15 and she sent me to New York. I thought she had gotten rid of it and made up the will. After she made the police bring me back, I didn't believe she cared anymore." I took the note back and placed it on the side table.

"Garrett, when you left for New York at 15 was your mom sober?" Garrett nodded her head.

"She'd been clean for about two weeks… Jonathon had been gone. She wanted me to leave because she was afraid of what would happen when he came back. She dyed my hair and I left. I was confused when the police apprehended me… It wasn't until I got back and realized my mother was high again that I knew she had rolled over and helped Jonathon to get some drugs… Jonathon seemed to keep her high so he could control her… Did he admit to killing her?" I nodded my head and Garrett quickly wiped away a tear that fell.

"The lawyer that made up the will rolled over and told the whole story… Jonathon will be in prison for the rest of his life… Its official you are mine." Garrett smiled. I stood up and kissed her forehead.

"And mine!" Alex said. Garrett laughed and I joined in.

"Duh! You can't leave me with 'Detective' Benson… I need someone normal in my corner." I smacked Garrett's arm but then hugged her. Alex stood up and hugged Garrett after I did.

"I will always be in your corner… Unless you are completely wrong then I'm with Liv." Garrett glared at both of us and crossed her arms.

"Mean!" Alex and I laughed. We sat back down and all of us talked about how things would go from here. Things were good and I hoped they kept going that way.


	19. Chapter 19

Garrett's POV

Jonathon was in prison and I had been out of the hospital for about a week. We were almost able to go back to New York but still had to wait a few days until the adoption was final. Liv was adopting me even though I was going to be 18 in a year she still wanted to make it official. Alex was also adopting me. This way they were both going to be my mom. I hadn't told either of them this but I was excited.

Liv and I were in a storage unit that the detectives got when I left everything at the apartment. We were deciding what we wanted to keep and what to get rid of. I didn't want much. Just a few more photos. The rest could be thrown away. Liv and I finished going through everything and each of us grabbed a box as we headed towards the rental car. Alex was back at the hotel arraigning the flight home.

Liv and I loaded up the car and headed back to the hotel. We stopped by a local restaurant and got lunch for all of us. We got back to the hotel and Alex was snoozing on the couch. I walked over and flicked her forehead to wake her up. She jumped and then smiled up at me.

"We brought lunch," I said. Alex got up and walked into the kitchenette area. Liv served up the Chinese food and we all sat down in the living room. We all chatted about useless information. Liv was telling stories about when she first started in SVU and how Elliot was WAY overprotective. Alex talked about how nervous she was during her first days but she knew she couldn't let it show because she had to prove herself to the detectives.

I just listened to them talk. I was lost in own little world. I was surprised at how things had changed. How much my life had changed in such a short time? Part of it scared me because if my life could change this much in a few short weeks then how quickly could this life be taken away. The other part of me was excited because I was with Liv and Alex and knew I was safe.

A few days later Liv, Alex and I put on our dress clothes and loaded up in the car. We were headed to the courthouse for the official adoption hearing. We all knew that there was a good chance the adoption would be granted we all had butterflies in our stomachs. We walked into the courthouse holding hands. I was standing between Liv and Alex. We took our seats in the gallery as we waited for the judge to start the proceedings. It was adoption day so other adoptions were going on too.

Finally, after what seemed like forever we were called. We walked up and stood in front of the judge. I reached for Liv's hand and she squeezed it. I looked over at her and she smiled. I took a deep breath and waited for the verdict.

"After reading over all the notes and the reference letters from many, many people… You did know you only needed two, right?" Liv and Alex laughed. I was too nervous to laugh but knew that the whole squad in New York had sent letters and also some ADAs past and present.

"Yes ma'am," Liv said.

"Well after reading all this I see no reason to deny the adoption… While I am weary about giving a child to a full time detective and a full time ADA. I've been given a promise in all these reference letters that they will help you along the way… So I am granting the adoption of Garrett Olivia Phillips to Olivia Benson and Alexandra Cabot… Congratulations, Garrett Olivia Alexandra Benson Cabot." I rolled my eyes at the name but then wiped a tear away. Alex pulled me into a hug and then I turned and hugged Olivia.

We all left the courthouse to go to dinner before our flight home. I sat next to Liv at dinner. She kept staring over at me like I was going to disappear.

"Will you stop? I'm not going anywhere… I won't just magically disappear." Liv looked down at her plate.

"I know. I just want to make sure you're okay… I lost you once in the blink of an eye; I don't want it to happen again." I smiled at her and gave her a one armed hug.

"I'm not going anywhere anytime soon… Well at least until college." Liv, Alex and I laughed. I had done it I'd finally made it home.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Last chapter of this story! Hope ya'll liked it. I promise there will be a sequel to this story. It's gonna be called, 'I'm A Benson-Cabot!' Not sure when the first chapter will be up so watch for it!... I don't own any part of Law and Order:SVU!**

Epilogue

Okay, so you guys have sat there and read my story of how I came back to Olivia. It's pretty crazy, huh? Well it happened and we've had many more fun adventures. I'll have to tell you those in a later story though.

When we got back to New York, the squad had thrown us a party. They had bought us shirts that said NYPD on the front and then on the back of Liv's it said, 'I'm a Benson'. On the back of Alex's it said, 'I'm a Cabot' and on the back of mine it said, 'I'm a Benson-Cabot'. We wore them once before Liv hid them somewhere. Alex and I didn't mind wearing them but Liv thought they were tacky.

It took me 12 years to get back to Liv but now that I am I never want to leave. Things are going awesome for us and I hope nothing ever changes. I better go before Liv catches me blogging on the computer… I'll be back to tell you more.

Love

Garrett


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